Whaaaaaaaaaaa?

Merry Freakin’ Christmas A-Rod! With the months of rumors that we’ve been reporting on regarding Madge, her Vadge and Alex and his “rod”, the fire behind their union may be starting to fizzle.

While Madge spends time away from her once red-hot boy-toy, rumor has it that she may have found a temporary replacement in the sizzling city of Rio de Janeiro. While shooting a spread for “W” magazine, Madge has been working with a smoking hot male model who goes by the name of Jesus Luiz. Apparently Madge made her interest very clear for the Brazilian hottie by inviting him to join her when she moves on to San Paulo.

A Brazilian website reports, “Everyone knows they are ficando - which is a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship afterwards.”

Page Six who broke the rumored fling said, “A-Rod might want to haul it down to Brazil and keep an eye on his new lady. Madonna, who was blamed for coming between Alex Rodriguez and his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Cynthia, is having a grand old time in Brazil while on her Sticky & Sweet tour - and without her Yankee boy toy.”

Madge and Jesus? What a seasonal union! I must admit, Jesus is pretty freakin’ scrumptious!

Ok, peeps…forget the genitalia bumpin’ and the boy toy obsession, for the first time A-Rod has spoken about his relationship with Madonna.

A-Rod exclusively told People, “We’re friends - that’s it. I’ve been to two [of her] concerts, yet I’ve read that I went to 20. I’ve also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true.”

However when it came to being asked if he had any slumber parties with Madge and her vadge he became coy. “If I answered every rumor, we’d be here for three weeks.” Nah, a couple hours..maybe.

I still don’t buy it. There’s boot knockin’ and genitalia bumpin. You KNOW that. They may be friends…but he may have forgotten to add the “with benefits” part of the statement. What a sly doggy dog.

Miami was full of love and puppydog tails as Madge and her Vadge took to the stage to entertain. Madge’s little puppy Alex Rodriguez was sitting front row at the concert and seemed love struck as Madge strut her stuff across the stage in her black leotard.

Rumor has it as Madge sang the song “You Must Love Me”, Madge stared at the baseball star with her beady little flirtatious eyes, as if the song was directed towards him. Ooooo, saucy.

At one point during the performance, Madge reached down and asked A-Rod to pass her his bottle of water.

A fan told E! News: “It was easy for him to hand it off because he was sitting in the front row. He was all excited watching her perform.”

I’m sure he was damn excited…especially for that sleepover the pair shared at A-Rod’s rental home on Miami’s exclusive Star Island after the big show.

In fact, sources tell E! they spent several nights together in Miami during the days leading up to her Wednesday night concert at Dolphin Stadium. Surprising? Not so much. Madge has got this man wrapped around her wrinkly vadge.

According to the Miami Herald, the couple then partied with friends and other musicians at Soffer’s home until 5 a.m. on Thanksgiving day.

Despite reports that Rodriguez planned to fly to the Big Apple with Madge for turkey later in the day, Madge remained in Miami.

How long before Madge starts putting a leash around A-Rod’s neck? So far it seems A-Rod is lovin’ something that Madge has and I would hope it is not that wrinkly vadge.

Click after the jump for more of A-Rod’s lovestruck faces at the Miami show.
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Madge must have pissed A-Rod off because now he’s spending the Thanksgiving holiday with his ex-wife and kids, instead of her. That Madge. But contrary to reports, spin spin spin….

A source told People, “He always had every intention of spending the holiday with Cynthia, the family, and his two daughters. There was never any intention of him flying back. The allegations regarding this trip to New York [to be with Madonna] couldn’t be anything farther from the truth,” the source says.

According to the source, A-Rod is planning on having dinner with Cynthia and their two children Tuesday night, and that Cynthia was “outraged” by the reports he wasn’t going to be with the family.

“Her mother and father and other family members are flying in” for the holiday, the source says. “They’ll all have a huge family get-together. Alex will be there for that, and be there the entire long weekend.”

Yep. Madge and her Vadge are going to be oh so lonely this Thanksgiving. That actually brought a little tear to my eye…oh wait, I had an eyelash on my pupil. Nevermind.

Image Source: Wire Image

For all you Madge-inites who think Madge is keeping her vadge to herself, you best re-think your virginal thoughts. We’re talking about a seasoned 50-year-old woman who prances around on stage in a leotard. There is nothing you can say or do that will lead me to believe that Madge and A-Rod aren’t bumping genitals. As sick as it sounds, you KNOW it is true.

This weekend, Madge must have been busy Kabbalah-ing it up and/or working on her fitness to join in the fun of the opening of Fontainebleu Hotel in Miami. A-Rod was there. So were two of Madge’s BFF’s. And, from the way it sounds, it was probably a good thing Madge’s pals, Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna’s BFF Ingrid Casares were there…otherwise A-Rod would have gotten away with flirting. I know, gawd forbid.

According to Ok! magazine, a dark-haired beauty in a short black dress approached A-Rod and he seemed smitten.

“They looked like they were flirting,” one eyewitness tells OK! about Alex and his chatting partner. “A-Rod’s body language was open and casual, and he had a big smile.” But, not for long…

About fifteen minutes into the conversation, in jumps Ingrid to steal A-Rod’s attention. A source said, “She wedged herself in between A-Rod and the brunette and didn’t even acknowledge that the other woman was there,” recalls the partygoer to OK!. “Ingrid diverted Alex’s attention and made sure to keep him deep in conversation.”

Good to know Madge has got some sneaky little pals to make sure her boy toy behaves himself!

Image Source: Splash

Are you thinking that the A-Rod-Madge affair didn’t happen? Well, bitches, it’s time to start snapping out of your denial funk and face reality. Even if it wasn’t physical, you can bet your booty it was an “affair of the heart”. What a difficult time for Madonna, this big divorce and all. So, what better way to deal with the tragedy of a divorce than to spend some time speaking with a REALLY good friend?

Poor Alex knows that this is a difficult time for Madonna, especially as she has children and the fact that he went through the SAME ORDEAL just a few months back.

Apparently the RIGHT answer in helping out his REALLY good friend is by purchasing a penthouse just a few blocks away from the pop superstar in NYC. Ummm yeah. THAT should make everything alright.

A source said, “He thought this was the best way to be close to her without being too intrusive. He is completely into her and willing to be patient while she sorts everything out. All he cares about is just being close to her,” a source added.

In addition, Rodriguez has also promised a gift to Madge and her vadge of a his-and-hers gym complex near her Manhattan apartment. What a perfect gift! We all know how much Madge LOVES to work on building up her pipes!

Wow. What a great friend she has in A-Rod! That is just the person she needs to hang out with now to help mend her broken heart. Pffffft.

This weekend…

New York Yankees vs. Toronto Blue Jays…

The picture says it all.

It’s only been three months since New York Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia gave birth to their second daughter. However, due to A-Rod’s rumored extramarital affairs, Cynthia is kicking A-Rod to the curb! Girlfriend is PISSED!

Rumors have been swirling of an A-Rod-Madonna affair, however, Madonna has fierce-fully denied these claims.

My question is…WHO is going to publicly ADMIT they are knocking boots and having an affair? Really…

I’m just sayin’…