Despite Papa Jamie’s leash on Brit Brit and helping her get her feet pointed in the right direction, Brit Brit is sad. A bag of Cheetos and a frappe always helps me cope with the day to day hoopla of being a gossip blogger.

If you didn’t watch the much-anticipated Brit documentary, you didn’t miss a whole lot. The revelations weren’t shocking and there was no mention of Adnan, Psycho Sam Lufti, or the whacked out pink wig episodes. C’mon you KNOW you wanted to hear about that Cheeto-ness. I did.

What I got out of the whole one hour jibber jabber was that despite Papa Jamie helping her with shiznit, Brit Brit wants to be free from the conservatorship and wants to be free to search for that new gold-digging husband.

One of the most disturbing quotes from Cheeto Brit’s mouth was one which she told her friends,
‘I’m going to write the man of my dreams on my arm. I’m going to get married next year and have babies. Watch!” Ummm okay. Somehow I don’t think this beotch has learned.

‘You can’t really go there in a complete state of happiness because you’re scared it’s going to be taken away. So it’s better just not to feel anything at all and to have hope to feel the other way….When I tell people the way I feel they hear me, but they’re really not listening. They hear what they want to hear. They don’t really listen to what I’m telling them.

She started to sob as she added: “It’s bad. I’m sad.”

The truth of the matter is that Brit Brit has had ALL the chances and possibilities to have a great life, but because she is ignorant right now, she is just a cow who is being milked for mad Cheeto money. Because her comeback performances have been nothing to write home about, I’m thinking girlfriend needs to disappear off the radar. Earn her kids back and just leave. The end.

Click after the jump for pics of Brit in London, greeting fans and smiling that Cheetorific smile. BTW, isn’t that the balcony Michael Jackson dangled Blanket from?
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Do you want to have hair that looks like Kate Hudson’s? Well, never fear! You can have some algae, volcano ash, AND ginger smeared in your hair too! How amazing is that!

According to a source, Kate has collaborated with friend and hairstylist David Babaii on a line of cruelty-free, good-for-the-Earth hair-care products that she hopes will eventually expand into a skin care and color cosmetics.

David Babaii for WildAid has been in the works for more than two years with Hudson serving as both muse and lab assistant. It was on her head only that products made of volcanic ash, blue algae and white ginger were tested, since the brand is opposed to animal testing.

Beauty is sure hard to maintain these days. Who knew? They don’t call the product line WildAid for nothin’!

Image Source: Wire Image

Step right up! Come get your ice pops! Come one, come all! Tons of flavors…just don’t ask for the white powdered kind because those aren’t for free! *Sigh* Nothing like an ice cold flavored ice pop on a hot day! Too bad it’s raining here. Boo.

Apparently Amy Winehouse’s apartment in Camden has become somewhat of a tourist attraction. Kids show up to her home and wait outside to catch a glimpse of the UK train wreck. And, it seems Amy doesn’t mind. If all it takes is handing out ice pops to make light of her racist video, she’ll do it!

What will she start serving once she runs out of ice pops?

It has been reported today that the reason for Shania’s separation from her husband of 14 years was infidelity. Apparently Mutt’s boots have been under Marie Ann Thiébaud’s bed, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple’s chateau in Switzerland. Shania’s hubby, cheated on HER!!! ON HER!!! Can you believe this? I know, I’m in complete shock.

A source tells People.com, “Mutt and Marie Ann left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship.”

But Lange denies the the claims, insisting that, “it’s absolutely not the reason [for the separation],” and he has also blasted talk of him being in a romantic relationship with Thiébaud: “I’m not, no,” he said. “It’s not true.”

Sad, Sad, Sad.

Britney Spears may be on the road to recovery, but come on people, she still is a little cuckoo. After a workout on Monday at Bally’s Gym, the Britster went to the locker room to shower…she got undressed…but realized, hey, I’m a little thirsty ya’ll!

So, what does the Britster do? No, she doesn’t put her clothes back on. No, she doesn’t have her assistant go out to get her some water.

Brit decides to go back out to the exercise room to get her own damn water, ya’ll! And hey, no one would notice her in nothing but a towel, right? I mean, seriously!
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Lindsay Lohan has always had the loser boyfriends and the psycho stalkers, but now Lindsay can add another freak follower to the list.  Mark Chapman, John Lennon’s killer is reportedly OBSESSED with the LiLo…so much so that he has plastered his jail cell with pictures/posters of Lindsay everywhere.

Lindsay played Mark Chapman’s girlfriend in the movie Chapter 27 and I guess now he is taking that love from onscreen to hopes that in the real world one day Lindsay would come visit him in jail.

Give him some Herbie Fully Loaded to watch and I highly doubt he’d be interested in LiLo any longer.

Image Source: Wire Image

It’s no doubt that hottie David Blaine is a freakin’ nut job. I mean really, David must just sit in his Laz-E-Boy recliner looking through the Guiness Book of World Records, thinking of how he can top the most outrageous records with a twist of his own.

Ummm, I’m going to see if I can hold my breath under water for 30 minutes while flopping around like a fish. Or, let’s see if I can jump off a 1000 foot building dressed up as a hot dog, only breaking my two legs, nothing else.

I can’t help but be attracted to David Blaine and his crazy antics.

On Oprah yesterday, David performed a live stunt getting his name in the World Records book once again. This time, he entered a water-filled sphere and held his breath for 17 minutes and 4 seconds, surpassing the previous mark of 16 minutes, 14 seconds set on April 3 by German free diver Tom Sietas. Damn, I bet Tom is pissed!

I wonder what is next for David..maybe he could turn Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag into frogs?  Now THAT would be worth tuning into.

When it comes to acting, Elijah Wood is a complete professional…even when it comes to a steamy sex scene filmed while covered in spaghetti. Sounds hot, right? Elijah and wet noodles…can’t quite picture it…not sure if I really want to either.

The Oxford Murders features Elijah Wood, John Hurt, and Leona Watling. Plot line is this: At Oxford University, a professor and a grad student work together to try and stop a potential series of murders seemingly linked by mathematical symbols.

I am not sure where the saucy spaghetti love romp fits into this movie, but it may be worth watching JUST for that scene!

Nothing like slapping around some buttery noodles!  Whoop, Whoop!

They are C-R-A-Z-Y.

She’s the perfect trophy girlfriend for George Clooney. She’s young. She’s pretty. She looks like a smiling mannequin when out in public with Georgie. She smiles and nods when talked to.

But, in private, it is a very different story.

According to Sarah’s ex Tommy McKaughan, “She made up special love potions and rubbed them into every part of my body. I was powerless to resist. I know George will be no different. He’ll be totally entranced.”

Tommy also went on to add, “Sarah’s a total hippie at heart, heavily into all the spiritual, mystic stuff—crystals, tarot cards, healing. And along with her witch-like charms she’s a brilliant fun girl with NO inhibitions. She loves nothing more than getting NAKED in a forest.

“Some of our wildest nights were out in the woods romping in the grass and under canvas.”

Wow. Well, okay then.  No wonder why George is keeping her around!

Two paternity tests have already proven that Michael Jordan is NOT the father of Lisa Miceli’s four-year old son. However, Lisa is requesting a third paternity test.  Yes, for some reason even AFTER two paternity tests, Loca Lisa is wanting another one.  She cannot be THAT stupid.

According to a source, Michael Jordan’s lawyer Frederick Sperling says,  “There is not going to be a settlement,” Sperling told Crawford County Judge Gordon Miller. “Mr. Jordan is not the father of her child, and we’re not going to engage in any discussions on that.”

I sense this is more of a publicity thing than anything.  I slept with Michael Jordan!!!  Anyone want to know my relationship with him?  How about a book deal?  Back Bay Books?  NAL Trade?  Playboy?