Introducing You To Danity Donnaly’s World.

Upon arrival, you will want to make yourself comfortable. Kick back, relax, pop open a diet coke (or your beverage of choice) and become familiar with the gossip-ness that is Danity Donnaly.

The Royal-Ness: Our Faves

We *heart* these people. These people rock our freakin’ lives and can do no wrong in our eyes. Here are a few of our TOP DOGS and why we love them:

Mariah Carey

She may be eternally 12 in her mind, but we *heart* her. We love her music. We love her ridiculous fashion faux pas and we would probably laugh if she farted in our face. Mariah is THAT cool.

Kim Kardashian

JLo is so yesterday. Kim quickly became one of our favorite people after we found out she had a big booty like us! She may only be famous for a sex tape and a reality show, but we *heart* her AND her booty!

Johnny Depp

Whoever doesn’t like Johnny Depp should be thrown into a window-less room and forced to listen to American Idol reject William Hung’s “He Bangs” over and over and over again. Johnny Depp can play any role. He could play the role of Heidi Montag and play it better than she does!

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

These two are so perfect it pains us. The two sneaky foxes joined forces to create the modern-day Brady Bunch. Eight kids later, they’ve only JUST begun.

Ryan Gosling

Ever since Ryan played Noah in the Notebook, he had us at hello. Ryan is hot to trot and his quiet demeanor only means ONE thing.

P!nk

P!nk is a fun, fearless bad ass chick and incredibly talented. Nuff’ said.

Royal Pains In Our Arse: Our Least Faves

These people we gossip about a lot because we don’t like them. They annoy us. A lot. Very RARELY will you hear us say anything positive about these ho-bags. Ok, who am I kidding. You will NEVER hear us say anything positive about them. Sorry.

Hugh Grant

He is just one of those peeps we can’t stand to listen to or look at. Not sure why. He is just one of those people.

John Travolta

He is ANOTHER one of those people we can’t stand looking at or listening to. I think he may have tried to invade our dreams once gyrating his hips like he did in “Grease” and smiling at us with his pencil thin guido (gwee-doh) mustache it took 8 months for him to grow. It was a traumatizing dream I am sure. Ew.

Kirsten Dunst

The ugliest, most boring celebrity EVER. ‘Nuff said.

Tori Spelling

The second ugliest, most boring celebrity EVER.

Tom Cruise

WTF happened to Tom Cruise? He used to be kind of cool. Now, he’s just a weirdo. And, he’s got Katie Holmes under his spell. Poor thing! We want the old Tom Cruise back…you know, the Top Gun hero. The PRE-SCIENTOLOGY Tom. That Tom was at least tolerable.

On The Fence

We can’t quite decide if we love or despise these people. In any case, we love to rag on them. It’s what we do.

Britney Spears

The BIGGEST train wreck in pop culture to date.

Lindsay Lohan

She was born to two very disappointing adults who act like they are immature teenagers, so we sympathize. Mean Girls changed our life. Herbie Fully Loaded turned us off. Lindsay needs a hit movie and fast…before her career fully disintegrates to that of Dave Coulier.

Paris Hilton

We used to despise Paris Hilton. But, once she spent some time in jail, we can tolerate the bitch. I really think jail changed her into a little Suzy Homemaker. I mean look at her…she stays home and plays Monopoly with her beloved Benji. Her musical talent and acting ability is nonexistent, but her fashion sense we LOVE…for the most part.

Gossip Gloss-ary:

Danity’s very own dictionary of words, phrases, and other hoopla SHE came up with. HERSELF! Gossip Gloss-ary also includes frequented words and/or phrases Danity spouts out of her fingers and onto the computer screen on a daily, if not hourly basis.

Gossip Glossary

Holy Smoking Hotness: To be hot, to exude hotness times ten; hotter than hot.

Rug Rat: A child, offspring, or kid.

Fox That Rocks: The epitome of hotness. The crown jewel. When coolness and goodness collide; doesn’t necessarily involve physical hotness.

Beotch: a term of endearment. Not to be taken in a derogatory manner.

-Ness: adding -ness to a word stresses the importance of the word in its singular form.  It may not be an actual word, but it is a word in Danity’s world.

ding dong: another word for the male reproductive part. The other words for this “thing” are just gross to say.