ABC’s NEWEST BACHELOR IS ENGAGED: Now sure this may be a ploy to get us to watch the new season of the “Bachelor”…but, ABC’s newest bachelor Jason Mesnick (last year’s losing bachelor on the “Bachelorette”), wants us to know that he’s engaged to one of the THIRTEEN women who compete for his affection on this season’s reality show. Oooooo la la!

ABC has wrapped up filming the reality series, however, you are going to have to watch and wait until Spring’s finale to see who Jason picked to be his bride! The question is…will the couple actually make it to the alter? Oh and yeah…the “Bachelor” premieres TONIGHT! Convenient news. Are you going to watch?

Must I really say anything about this photo? Seriously.

Josh Holloway, ABC’s “LOST” hunka hunka, is the face and body for the Davidoff’s “Coolwater” cologne and was put to work yesterday in Hawaii. A commercial is set to show why we all should buy the sexy cologne…I think it is pretty safe to say that I am sold.

Where do I buy? Oh and does he come along with the package? (we kid.)

This January you can see more of Josh on the brand new season of “LOST”. Yum.

Good Morning America was all about the birthday Cheeto this morning! And I must say…it’s about freakin’ time someone pays attention to Brit Brit. She hardly gets enough, damnit!

In case you didn’t roll out of bed early enough to catch the birthday extravaganza and the performances on the ABC morning show, we’ve got them right here for your viewing pleasure. Below are “Circus” and “Womanizer”, both performed on the show this morning, as well as some special birthday messages delivered to Brit by a couple of today’s HOTTEST celebs.

I must admit, Brit LOOKS fantabulous. Happy Birthday, beotch!

P.S. Don’t forget, the album drops today!

“Dancing With the Stars’ Julianne Hough says she may be hanging up her dancing shoes for good. ‘I won’t be on Dancing this spring season. I don’t know about the fall. Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see…I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [Dancing] and be singing.” Ok, Joaquin-Phoenix-Angelina-Jolie-Nicole-Kidman wannabe. We kid. Do what you gotta do, honey. But, you WILL be missed by horny old men and dance freaks nationwide!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than anyone else on ABC’s “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg revealed Monday night at Cooper Union. Whoopi - part of a panel discussion on Art and Educational Justice … said of her conservative co-host: “Politically we could not be more opposite, but I respect her tremendously. Truth is, we could not have a dialogue without Elizabeth. It’s not that we have to agree, the important thing is that we have the conversation.” Secretly, she wants to whoop her butt. I mean, they don’t call her Whoopi for nothin’!

The American Music Awards nominees were announced October 14th, and my girl Mariah received two nominations in the following categories:

Favorite Female Artist - Pop or Rock Music
Mariah Carey
Alicia Keys
Rihanna

Favorite Female Album - Soul/Rhythm & Blues Music
Mariah Carey - E=MC2
Mary J. Blige - Growing Pains
Alicia Keys - As I Am

Click here to register at ABC.com and VOTE FOR MARIAH (or your faves)! Voting will take place from October 14 to November 7. Vote or die, bitches.

In other MC news, Mariah and her man Nick Cannon attended the Spirit Of Life Awards dinner last night, where MC performed. Oh, is that a little bumpy bump….ummm, no it can’t be, can it?

Anybabe, click after the jump for more fantabulous pics of MC on stage doing her thang.
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After watching this short clip of Katie Holmes trying to seduce some poor guy for her stint on ABC show “Eli Stone”, I almost choked on my diet coke after I saw the windows in my basement start to crack. What in the placenta stew is going on here? I am warning you…turn the damn volume DOWN before you listen to this shrieking. It made my cat start howling and a ball of ear wax shoot out from my left ear. Mind you, I do clean my ears, but something about this clip made it so that I won’t have to clean my ears for at least three months.

Stepford Katie should NOT be allowed to attempt to sing and dance in a leotard with flipped-out hair ever again. Something tells me Tommy Boy had Kate rehearse this over and over and OVER again after a savory meal of placenta stew in their Scientology dungeon.

Hello awkwardness!

Shit, I’d have an ego as big as California if I was 40 and looked as bikini-licious as Nicollette does! The slutty “Desperate Housewife” hung out at Malibu beach perhaps looking for her rebound boy?

Right now somewhere dark and dreary, Michael Bolton is lying in a puddle of his own tears. Michael and Nicollette were engaged for two years and well…obviously the wedding didn’t happen. The couple had dated for five years in the mid 90s when Michael was a long-haired Fabio.

My guess is once Nicollette scores in a rebound, she’ll be back in the arms of Froggy once again.

Image Source: Matrix Photos

I honestly never envisioned Katie Holmes as a sexy seductress especially after knowing she has performed many-a-sexy time with alien-lovin’ Tom Cruise. WEIRRRRRRRRRRD! That in itself creeps me out. So to see Katie pose as a sultry vixen gives me the freakin’ willies. It’s like seeing a non-mother wearing tight-fitting frosted mom jeans. It just isn’t appealing.

What is even more amazing is that Tommy even allows Katie out of the house, let alone allow her to take on a role as sexy as the non-profit-singin-dancin-lawyer for the television show “Eli Stone”. Perhaps Tommy is lightening up?

Anyblackleotard, Katie is receiving rave reviews for her performance on “Eli Stone” by none other than ABC’s president Stephen McPherson. He noted her acting as “exquisite”.

David Blaine’s latest stunt involves him hanging upside down for 60 hours. Yeah, intense, right? In fact, I tried just a bit ago and only lasted like a minute before I felt dizzy and about to die. So, big kudos to Mr. Blaine for making me feel like a complete freak for even trying this at home.

There are many people out there who think what David is doing is crazy, but many are also accusing Blaine of being a big fat cheater. Why, you ask? Onlookers have said that they have seen Blaine standing up numerous times throughout the day. Ummmm, ya think?

Blaine NEVER said he’d be hanging upside down for 60 CONSECUTIVE hours, people! If he did that, he’d die, for gawd’s sake. So, technically he is NOT cheating.

“About once an hour he has to come down for a medical check, to stretch, and to relieve himself, because even David Blaine can’t do that upside down,” a rep for Blaine said.

David said all along that there will be times when he must get his head above his heart. On ABC tonight you can tune in to watch Blaine takes what he calls the “Dive of Death” and falls 44 feet to the ground.

I’ll be watching just cuz’ he’s hot and…well, stupid.