Now I’m not encouraging to overindulge in booze by any means, but from the looks of it…Jessica Alba is a much more pleasant individual under the influence of alcohol. Even if it is just ONE glass of Campari. Give her one more and she JUST may give you an outright chuckle!

Jessica seemed to appear very comfortable showing off her post baby bod for the Campari photo shoot that features Alba in swimwear and flirty evening wear and looking mighty tipsy happy.

This 2009 calendar is a limited edition (printing only 9,999 copies)…so if you want to capture that rare, unforced Alba smile…be sure to snag one up!

Well, you can forget about that reality show that Kerry Katona got hired on to do for MTV…’cuz it ain’t happenin’. Due to unforeseen circumstances, Miss Katona’s new television show has been scrapped. Ok, let’s be real here. Beotch no longer has a jobby job ‘cuz she’s a drunk who needs rehab, an attitude adjustment, and a clue.

An MTV source told British tabloid, The Sun: “Kerry is in no fit state to make a show. ‘We have to wait and see how she fares in the immediate future. We want to see if she can start taking care of herself.”

Seems to me Kerry looked at Britney Spears’ meltdown and thought hey, what a fantabulous way to get back into the public’s hearts…

Just one hot minute Miss Katona…YOU ARE not Britney Spears…I repeat…YOU…ARE…NOT…A…CHEETO. You have no discerning talents nor redeeming qualities that will MAKE you a celebrity. Get yourself some help. KThanks.

Image Source: Jon Baxter

Just when you think MAYBE…just MAYBE Wino could be getting better, she goes and gets all wacky and wild-eyed on us once again.

Still donning her curly-sue mop head, Wino stepped out of her Camden home to offer the paps some wacky juice…her alcoholic beverage of choice? VODKA.

On her way out of her home, she went on a tiny venture to seek out her pal Blake Wood. According to a source, she banged on the door of her buddy and screamed for her pal…only to get no answer.

Amy also mentioned to her pap snapper friends that Monday is the day she gets to see her beloved loser husband, Blakey.

She said: “I get to see Blake on Monday. Things weren’t going to well. We didn’t get have sex for a whole year. It’s not very good - because I love the man.”

The day she reunites with Blake is going to be one bad, sad, sad day. I still think this girl needs to be locked up against her own will. THAT is the only way this chick is gonna get better once and for all.

A little off-topic here but don’t ya kind of think Amy is starting to look more and more like Ronnie Wood? I don’t know…just an observation.

Image Source: XPosure

Kerry Katona is one hot mess…but don’t tell anyone. You just could feel the wrath of Kerry “One Hot Mess” Katona. That is what just happened to Kerry’s tolerable publicist Max Clifford. He just got the axe from Kerry as he just confirmed the obvious booze-hounding-possible-pill-popping lifestyle of his client Kerry, only showing a valid concern for the client he once dubbed as his “adopted daughter”.

Max broke the sad news today,

“She has asked that I no longer represent her. Reluctantly I have agreed and I wish her all the health and happiness. I think the world of her and wish her every success.”

Hello, train wreck.

Mr. Clifford told Heat magazine, “All I can say is that from knowing Kerry as well as I do, I don’t personally believe she is in a good place at the moment. What people who are around her tell me makes me increasingly worried. People around her are telling me that she is drinking more and more, earlier and earlier.”

Let’s hope someone will knock some sense into this poor woman. I smell another cracky in the works, but perhaps Kerry would eventually agree to a trip to rehab? Time will tell. First she has to admit she has a problem with the bottle.

Image Source: Getty Images

Does Kirsten Dunst look a little haggard, bleary-eyed,and a tad tipsy or is the lighting in club La Poubelle just horribly bad?

Monday night seemed to be Monday-Funday for fang-licious Kirsten as she stepped in the club to shake her badonka-donk and get her smoke on and whatever else she did just ten months after she checked into rehab.

But wait one hot minute here…didn’t Miss Fang reside in rehab for errr ummm depression? If she’s out being a booze hound it doesn’t necessarily mean she is depressed. So, nevermind. I mean, drinking booze and doing drugs doesn’t mean a person has low self-esteem right? “Drowning one’s sorrows” is just a stupid cliche some cowboy singer came up with while driving on a country bumpkin back road on his John Deere tractor coming down from a RedBull high. Kirsten wouldn’t be drowning her sorrows for gawd’s sake. I mean she broke up with her boyfriend….what a month ago? It’s so hard to keep track of Dunst’s shag buds anymore. In any case, I’m not understanding what reason Miss Fang could possibly have to be sad about.

Ok, I admit…this post was pointless. Kirsten is fine. Not hot…I mean, she’s fine as in “ok”. Right?
Or am I missing something….

Image Source: X17Online

Ok, so I guess maybe we expected too much from Lily Allen. Just because she wore a glamorous ball gown doesn’t MAKE her classy. We should have known better…but is having a little bit of faith in someone wrong? Nahhh. But, we love it because we can spill to you what we just found out! It was only a matter of time before Lily started the GQ Awards party with a little drinky drinky. Once they started serving up a little of the bubbly, Lily was all over that shiznit! She was soon slurring and ad-libbing during her co-hosting duties alongside Sir Elton John and soon enough a public feud erupted. Here’s how it went down, according to an insider.

When she came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, Elton chipped in ‘What? Are you going to have another drink?’

She fired back: ‘F*** off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’

The shocked audience fell silent.

A clearly rattled Elton replied ‘I could still snort you under the table’. To which she replied: ‘F*** off. I don’t know what you are talking about.’

On more than one occasion, Elton could be seen having a stern word with her in the wings between awards.

She barely made it off the stage after the awards ended - before drinking even more at the after-party.

I am slightly disappointed as I thought this was going to be a life-changing event for Lily. It just goes to show that a ballroom gown cannot make the woman.

She’s been a booze hound since she popped outta her mother’s womb. However, last night 42-year-old Sadie Frost was put to the test…the AMY WINEHOUSE test. After spending just THREE hours at the singer’s home, Sadie Frost and her on-off boyfriend Kristian Marr stumbled out of Amy’s apartment, red-eyed and bushy-tailed.

A source said: ‘The zip of her dress wasn’t done up properly and her jacket was tucked into the back of it. She was in a real state.

‘Oddly, she left clutching a box full of junk, which had “all make-up/skin care bits” written on the top.’

Sadie OBVIOUSLY had some problems with her dress.

And peeps…This is what happens when you hang with Amy Winehouse for the night. You end up blitzed out of your mind, wearing a pair of dirty ballerina flats, and carrying a box of junk home with you.

Sadie Frost definitely keeps it classy.

Pa-Pow! Don’t say anything to tick Lily Allen…she’ll give you the ole’ one-two-pow!

Monday night Lily had a few too many drinks in London and apparently after being heckled by a passer-by, Lily attempted to give the girl a knuckle sandwich. But, it seems she failed to connect her fist to the girl’s body at all. BOO YAH!

Lily’s target didn’t seem too “hurt” by Lily’s actions or words either and proceeded to laugh it off. I’m sure that pissed Lily off even more!

What good role models they have over in the UK! Hopefully this victim is smart enough to press charges on Lily!

Hayden Panettiere’s papa needs some help and it all stems from the bottle in last night’s incident that left him in the clinker. Bam! Behind bars.

According to a source, Alan Panettiere, a retired firefighter who owns a string of Laundromats in Long Island, was booked at a West Hollywood station on one felony count of spousal abuse and released this afternoon after posting a $50,000 bond.

Yep, Mr. P has allegedly hit his wife after a boozed-up spat between the couple. I don’t care who you are…alcohol abuse is bad enough as it is. But, to hit a woman? You’ve got some serious problems, dude! Even if his wife was provoking him, Alan P. is still a douche-bag for slapping his wife around!

So, what will come of this? Was this an isolated incident or is divorce now the talk over dinner in the Panettiere household?

If this is what you are supposed to look like after a 21-day cleanse, count me OUT! After a highly publicized and well-documented cleanse experience, Oprah can now indulge in alcohol, chocolate, and caffeine once again. Girlfriend must have been on an all-night binge after that cleanse ended. She looks to be in ROUGH shape!

Oprah is in England for Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday party celebration.
Oprah’s blog