Perhaps fate is keeping Cracky and her trophy husband Blake Fielder-Civil from seeing each other?

Yesterday, Amy packed an overnight bag, some cigarettes and her weave mice to visit her rehab-residing hubby Blake. However, Miss Cracky didn’t leave her home early enough to make it to the Life Works rehab center in time for visiting hours. THAT SUCKS!

Knowing she would not make it in time, Amy decided to hop in a taxi to try to make the reunion happen anyways. However, just after FIVE minutes of cruising in the cab, Amy must have told the cabbie to bring her back home. I’m sure her little weave mice were NOT happy campers…all dressed up and nowhere to go.

The mother of Amy’s goddaughter Dionne Bromfield told a source, “I don’t think Amy’s going to leave the house today. Things aren’t going great between [her and Blake] at the moment.”

Next time she needs to maybe go sans the eyeliner or start caking on that shiznit a lot earlier! I hope she fed those weave mice some special cheese when she got home.

Maybe today Wino will make it to the rehab center on time?

Image Source: ISOImages

Just when you think MAYBE…just MAYBE Wino could be getting better, she goes and gets all wacky and wild-eyed on us once again.

Still donning her curly-sue mop head, Wino stepped out of her Camden home to offer the paps some wacky juice…her alcoholic beverage of choice? VODKA.

On her way out of her home, she went on a tiny venture to seek out her pal Blake Wood. According to a source, she banged on the door of her buddy and screamed for her pal…only to get no answer.

Amy also mentioned to her pap snapper friends that Monday is the day she gets to see her beloved loser husband, Blakey.

She said: “I get to see Blake on Monday. Things weren’t going to well. We didn’t get have sex for a whole year. It’s not very good - because I love the man.”

The day she reunites with Blake is going to be one bad, sad, sad day. I still think this girl needs to be locked up against her own will. THAT is the only way this chick is gonna get better once and for all.

A little off-topic here but don’t ya kind of think Amy is starting to look more and more like Ronnie Wood? I don’t know…just an observation.

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It seems Ms. Winehouse has been experimenting with curlers. As she stepped out of her Camden home to borrow a phone from a photographer, Wino debuted her curly locks and her scab-less face. It’s amazing what a little bit of care and good hygiene will do for a person. Perhaps Wino is yearning for a Herbal Essence ad spot? Those bouncy curls are curls my grandmother would be envious of!

Quite frankly, I’m missing that rat’s nest that used to be implanted on that melon of hers. Didn’t you see those little rats dancing up in the Aqua-net sprayed beehive Amy once had? Well, they are gone now and so is Wino’s eye liner.

Amy still hasn’t reunited with her beloved husband Blake, who was just recently released from jail. However, Blake is penned up in a rehab center. It is unknown when these two will reunite, but have a feeling it is going to be soon.

What do you think of Wino’s new look?

Image Source: Splash

REHAB.

Blake Fielder-Civil, Amy Winehouse’s winner of a husband, actually wasn’t supposed to be released from the slammer until next month, BUT…because he agreed to attend Life Works Rehab Center, he was able to flee the coup. What fabulous news for those in the UK!

Amy Crackhouse should be proud. Her whacked out hubby Blakey is out of jail and spending a stint in rehab. There’s just one small problem…Blake expects his wife to foot the bill. Ya think Amy is gonna want to part with her cotton candy money? Ummm, I think not.

Anycandyflossmaker, since the Blakester was released from Edmonds Hill prison on Wednesday, he has been looking mighty pale and rough, with his arms covered in red scars. Ewwwww. But despite his frail appearance, Blake managed to flap his trap to the media yesterday saying, “I’m doing really well, great to be out. Feeling happy.”

Amy, however, was NOT present to greet Blake upon his release as she had no clue that he was even getting out.

Hmmm, are Amy’s friends and family finally keeping her away from that bad, bad string bean man?

Image Source: Splash

He’s still on a leash, but after 27 months of being locked up in a hole in the wall, Amy Winehouse’s winner of a husband, Blake Fielder-Civil has been released from jail. I’m so happy I can hardly contain my joy. Not. Apparently Amy felt the same way I did as she was nowhere to be seen upon Blake’s release.

Blake has been sent straight to rehab as part of the terms of his release.

Ok, what in whacked-out beehive name has happened here? Wino has an electric glow that would send Saint Angelina into convulsions. Not only has Amy taken a bit more care to her appearance, but she also seems to have put on a few much needed pounds. Miss Cracky was seen out about in London, presumably to buy more sucrose and glucose for the Candy Land that she has recently transformed her home into.

The real question here is where oh where have the crusty scabs gone? Is there some beauty regimen that involves spreading candy floss all over your body to soak up the scab puss that has magically been discovered by THE QUEEN OF ALL CRACKY SCABS? Perhaps Amy is really onto something here. I may have to do an online search for a patent. Wino may be in the running for the UK’s next top inventor.

Or maybe this isn’t really the Cracky McCrackin’ that we all knew…maybe…just maybe…this is really Cindy Crawford? Dun, dun, dun.

Only a toothy smile would solve this mystery. Smile Amy, smile…if your real name is Amy.

Image Source: BIGPICTUREPHOTOS

Well, it IS Halloween. But in Wino’s World, EVERYDAY is Halloween.

According to reports, Wino has turned her home in Camden into a candy palace. In addition to the candy floss maker Amy purchased to make her candy crack, Miss Winehouse NOW has a Slush Puppy machine and an old-fashioned sweet counter with jars of boiled sweets.

A source said, “Amy seems to be constantly stuffing herself with sugary snacks. She loves all of the stuff from her childhood in the Eighties, from Slush Puppies to Bull’s Eyes and licorice. It may seem harmless but it is not doing her any good. She’s suffering from chest and lung infections at the moment and she has been warned that all of the sweets could flare up the problems. She used to walk to the local shops at all hours of the night to pick up her sweet fixes, but now she doesn’t have to.”

Here’s an interesting little tidbit for ya….

I have heard from a friend’s friend’s cousin’s brother’s sister-in-law’s cousin that heroin can cause MASSIVE sweets cravings…not that Wino indulges in heroin or anything. But apparently ice pops and slushies are said to cool the burning sensation that heroin can cause. Hey, I’m just sayin’.

At any rate, girlfriend will never have to leave her house again! Anyone going to Crackie’s door for Halloween? I’m sure she has all sorts of goodies to share.

Image Source: BIG Pictures

Kerry Katona is one hot mess…but don’t tell anyone. You just could feel the wrath of Kerry “One Hot Mess” Katona. That is what just happened to Kerry’s tolerable publicist Max Clifford. He just got the axe from Kerry as he just confirmed the obvious booze-hounding-possible-pill-popping lifestyle of his client Kerry, only showing a valid concern for the client he once dubbed as his “adopted daughter”.

Max broke the sad news today,

“She has asked that I no longer represent her. Reluctantly I have agreed and I wish her all the health and happiness. I think the world of her and wish her every success.”

Hello, train wreck.

Mr. Clifford told Heat magazine, “All I can say is that from knowing Kerry as well as I do, I don’t personally believe she is in a good place at the moment. What people who are around her tell me makes me increasingly worried. People around her are telling me that she is drinking more and more, earlier and earlier.”

Let’s hope someone will knock some sense into this poor woman. I smell another cracky in the works, but perhaps Kerry would eventually agree to a trip to rehab? Time will tell. First she has to admit she has a problem with the bottle.

Image Source: Getty Images

What’s crack-a-lackin’ my beloved Wino lovers? It has been quite a dismal past couple of weeks with the absence of Amy Winehouse from the public spotlight. Now, while you may think that hibernating is only for the bears, Amy Winehouse is proving that what goes on behind closed doors isn’t exactly healthy either.

Amy Winehouse made a scab-a-licious public appearance while on her way to the clinic. No, no, no, she’s not going to rehab as we would only hope, but rather Wino has some cause for concern when it comes to her health. Wino was accompanied to the hospital by her American friend Blake Wood for what was said to be a chest infection. A source said, “Amy is being checked out for a chest infection. She’s fine and is expected to return home soon.”

All in all, Amy does look considerably better compared to earlier photos of her crack-ness.

Let’s hope she at least gets that “chest infection” fixed. Some toothpaste and a toothbrush would do this woman wonders too.

Image Source: BIG Picture Photos

Usually about a week before Aunt Flo invades my house for that fun little monthly visit, I indulge in sweets. It’s just what I do. In fact, October is one of my favorite months of the year because I have an added excuse to run to Tarjay and pick up a bag (or two) of those cute little sweet Halloween pumpkins. You know what I’m talking about right? Yummers. I frickin’ LOVE them. (See illustration below.)

Anysweets, everyone that has a sweet tooth has their own sugar-ific treat of choice that satisfies their craving. Now, I realize I haven’t written about our beloved UK train wreck Amy Winehouse as of late, but the bitch has been in hiding WITH her latest addiction…sweets. But what we have just found out is by far the most “to die for” (literally) concoctions ever.

Cracky and one of her pals have been in hiding at Amy’s Camden home, playing and indulging in their new concoction which includes mixing drugs with sweets.

According to a source, Wino has invested some of her hard earned money into a candyfloss (similar to cotton candy) machine into which she reportedly sprinkles wraps of cocaine in before whipping up the sweet treat. Amy refers to this process as her ‘coke ‘n candy special’. Amy’s “friend”, Babyshambles guitarist Mik Whitnall has been hanging with Amy as of late, helping her whip up this sweet, yet deadly treat.

The source said: “It was Mik’s (a friend of Amy’s) idea. The candyfloss machine was Amy’s pride and joy and he thought it would be funny to give it a boost.

‘He and a some pals sprinkled a wrap of coke into the mixture and Amy started eating it before she realized what they’d done. She now thinks it’s a hoot to do the same.”

Yeah, it will be a real hoot when Wino rots out her teeth, loses them, and then will be forced to resort to wearing dentures…at the sweet age of 25! That would SUCK!