The girl may be back in tip top shape, but it doesn’t mean the Britster can’t get toxic every now and then. Right? You KNOW it’s a slow gossip day when Britney and an artery clogging burger is a focal point of our madness. Of course you want to know when Brit eats, sleeps and drops the kids off at the pool, right? I thought so.

Yesterday Brit Brit indulged in a greasy burger and chips in the grand ole’ country of Japan. The popstar landed in Japan a couple days ago to promote her already number one album “Circus”. In addition to reaching number one in the U.S., the record entered at the top of the charts also in Brazil, Canada, Japan, Mexico and Switzerland.

To that success, I say eat another burger!

Image Source: Splash

She promised to keep their wedding a secret and it seems the blonde-haired bombshell kept her word. On Saturday, ta-ta-licious Scarlett Johannson and six-pack abbed Ryan Reynolds tied the knot in a secret ceremony in Ryan’s native Canada.

Rumor has it that the ceremony took place at a remote wilderness resort outside of Vancouver, British Columbia. Ummm ok, so does that mean this was kind of a Cinderella-esque wedding with tiny woodland creatures in attendance? Rabbits holding Scarlett’s train and tiny mice throwing cheese and rice down the aisle. Nice.

So, after just one year of engagement, Ryan and ScarJo seal the deal. I wonder how long THIS will last. In any case, we wish them the best. But remember…somewhere in Canada, Alanis is punching a wall, eating Twinkies, and writing a “hate” song which will soon be a hit.

Image Source: Barcroft

Keira attended the Toronto Film Festival to promote her film The Duchess.

Good gawd. What THE EFF is wrong with Keira Knightley?!!! Does she find this anorexic look appealing? This sooo reminds me of Nicole Richie, pre-Harlow. Sorry to go off on a rant here, but I simply do not understand what is so hot about looking like a bag of bones walking around…sunken in cheeks, no chest and no booty. WHAT is attractive about THAT? Ummm…nada.

I’d be scared to be this chick’s boyfriend. How awful would that be to be scared half to death that you might break your stick-thin girlfriend while engaging in sexy time. BAHHHHH!!!!!

Gawd forbid you give this chick a hug for fear of breaking the poor girl in half. Yikes. I can’t even know what to say. She needs like 134536436336 cheeseburgers!