Despite Papa Jamie’s leash on Brit Brit and helping her get her feet pointed in the right direction, Brit Brit is sad. A bag of Cheetos and a frappe always helps me cope with the day to day hoopla of being a gossip blogger.

If you didn’t watch the much-anticipated Brit documentary, you didn’t miss a whole lot. The revelations weren’t shocking and there was no mention of Adnan, Psycho Sam Lufti, or the whacked out pink wig episodes. C’mon you KNOW you wanted to hear about that Cheeto-ness. I did.

What I got out of the whole one hour jibber jabber was that despite Papa Jamie helping her with shiznit, Brit Brit wants to be free from the conservatorship and wants to be free to search for that new gold-digging husband.

One of the most disturbing quotes from Cheeto Brit’s mouth was one which she told her friends,
‘I’m going to write the man of my dreams on my arm. I’m going to get married next year and have babies. Watch!” Ummm okay. Somehow I don’t think this beotch has learned.

‘You can’t really go there in a complete state of happiness because you’re scared it’s going to be taken away. So it’s better just not to feel anything at all and to have hope to feel the other way….When I tell people the way I feel they hear me, but they’re really not listening. They hear what they want to hear. They don’t really listen to what I’m telling them.

She started to sob as she added: “It’s bad. I’m sad.”

The truth of the matter is that Brit Brit has had ALL the chances and possibilities to have a great life, but because she is ignorant right now, she is just a cow who is being milked for mad Cheeto money. Because her comeback performances have been nothing to write home about, I’m thinking girlfriend needs to disappear off the radar. Earn her kids back and just leave. The end.

Click after the jump for pics of Brit in London, greeting fans and smiling that Cheetorific smile. BTW, isn’t that the balcony Michael Jackson dangled Blanket from?
(more…)

Related Posts

• Britney Spears Is A Groundhog.
• Kanye West Is Stronger.
• Jessica Simpson Is Still Obsessed With Tony Romo.
• Britney’s “Kill The Lights” Hits The Web.
• Britney Gets Seizure Scare.

Well as personal as the Britster is “allowed” to get with interviewers these days. Rolling Stone’s Jenny Elisco received the Cheeto-rific honor to visit with the pop princess in a very strict and more guarded environment. Not only did Rolling Stone need to submit the questions to Britney and her camp beforehand, but they were forbidden to talk about the conservatorship. The Rolling Stone issue doesn’t hit newsstands until Friday, but we’ve dug up some highlights for you to enjoy. Peep ‘em below:

On Her Tater Tot and Small Fry:

“Every time they come to visit me, I think about how they’re such special people. Like, they’re going to preschool now! I went there to pick them up on Friday, and seeing them in their little classroom and seeing Jayden being bad or not listening? It’s like, those are mine, and it’s just crazy, you know what I mean? And the things that are coming out of their mouths right now — they’re learning so much, and it’s new, and you never know what they’re going to say, and they’re so smart yet so innocent. They’re obsessed with monsters, and every night we look outside, and we have to show them that there’s no monsters out there. It’s dark outside, but there’s nothin’ out there, you know?”

On K-Fed’s Amazing Parenting Skills:

“(The boys) are starting to learn words like stupid, and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn’t get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids.”

On chaperoned dates:

“Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad. He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. … So I had to get dessert first. And the other date I had, the guy was really, really tall and a lot older. … We’re trying to ask him questions, like, ‘OK, you’re into martial arts, so what kind of martial arts are you into?’ And he was like, ‘Oh, all kinds.’ … But you know how silly we are, so we were just cracking up.”

On her life post-breakdown:

“I feel like an old person now . . .I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don’t go out or anything.”

Sounds like girlfriend is still on a leash. I’m afraid Brit has a LONG ways to go before she will be able to be out on her own. But, BIG kudos to Papa Spears for keeping Brit under lock and key! It’s apparently what she needed.

Related Posts

• Emma Watson Lands $6 Million Deal.
• Lily Allen Wants To Rock And Roll…
• Pink Laughs In The Face Of Danger.
• TGIF. Week Wrap-up.
• Heath Ledger Lives On In Perth.

Thanks to imeem, you can now listen to Britney’s highly-anticipated “Circus” in its entirety. So, break out the Cheetos and the Frapps. It’s time to get Cheeto-rific, y’all.

After hearing these Cheese-tastic tracks, will YOU be supporting Britney and lining her pockets with your hard-earned Cheeto money?

Related Posts

• Britney’s “Kill The Lights” Hits The Web.
• Get A Pre-Show To Britney’s Circus.
• Britney’s New Single Debuts On Z100.
• Britney’s ‘Circus’ Coming To Town Sooner Than Later.
• Miley Making That Money, Ya’ll!

Hindsight is always 20/20. But, WE all knew Kevin Federline was a bad idea for Britney…a sponge…a gold digger…a hanger-on…or as R and B group TLC once sang…a scrub. However, Britney married him, reproduced two spawns and now K-Fed is set fo’ lyfe. HOLLA!

In the above video, Brit admits she married K-Fed for the wrong reasons. Well, it’s obvious K-Fed knew why he was marrying Brit and golly gee, he won himself a lifetime supply of Cheetos.

Brit, on the other hand, the Cheeto-star should have listened to “No Scrubs” more in depth and told Fedder, “I’m lookin’ like class and you’re lookin’ like trash, I can’t get wit’ no deadbeat ass.” But, whatevs. She’s gotta deal with the issues at hand.

For your listening pleasure, I present to you the song of the day, “No Scrubs”.

Related Posts

• Britney’s “Kill The Lights” Hits The Web.
• Britney Spears Is Still Sad.
• Britney Gets Bod Back.
• Britney’s Beyonce-fied Promo Pics
• Britney Has An Elevator Breakdown

Break out the Kleenex and the Cheetos. Brit Brit is sad. In an exclusive documentary to air on MTV networks, Britney Spears gets candid, deep, and makes us want to curl up in our bed with a bag of Cheetos and crunch until our fingers turn permanently orange.

While Britney may seem as if her life is starting to get on track, do not be fooled. The Cheeto-rific beotch is still messed up.

Despite her whirlwind of a year, Brit should maybe count her blessings. Her father Jamie Spears has taken the reins and still remains the permanent conservator of her affairs and Brit says her controlled existence sucks. She admits: “There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail, y’know, there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. ‘But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day.”

She continues on to say: “I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening. If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time. I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free. I think I’ve learned my lesson now and enough is enough.”

Hmmmm, sounds to me like the little groundhog needs to go back in her hole and hide for awhile. Girlfriend has the means to take a vacation, to get out of the limelight…just DO IT! And don’t come back for a year. This chick sounds FAR from being mentally stable. Pfffft. Take that furry little weave and hide!!!! That’s what I would do.

Source: MTV

Related Posts

• Britney Spears Is Still Sad.
• Britney’s Orange-Stained Fingers Finally Clean.
• Britney Gets Bod Back.
• Britney Spears Tells All. Or Not.
• Britney Knows K-Fed Was A Bad Idea

In less than a month, you’ll be able to dig out the money you’ve been saving for your beloved Cheeto and put it in Cheeto’s pocket…’cuz lawd knows girlfriend has some major ching to dish out to K-Fed monthly.

So in an essence you are dishing out the ching to line K-Fed’s saggy pockets that in turn, will hopefully be spent on some Cheetos for small fries Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline.

Anycrunch, for your listening pleasure, here is a new Cheeto song called “Kill The Lights” that will be featured on Brit Brit’s “Circus” album.

Listen to it about 35 times and it will more than likely have grown on you by then. I already have it drilled in my brain. Thanks, Brit.

Related Posts

• Britney Knows K-Fed Was A Bad Idea
• Get A Pre-Show To Britney’s Circus.
• One Big Happy.
• New Britney Spears Album Cover Art!
• Britney’s Jayden Is Gonna Be Alright.

Cheeto-rific Brit and her little tater tots made their first trip out of state to Brit’s home stomping grounds of Louisiana when they experienced the unexpected.

The youngest Cheeto spawn, Jayden James, had fallen ill yesterday afternoon and soon became unresponsive, which prompted a 25-mile dash to Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center in nearby Mississippi. Rumor has it that the little doot doot experienced a seizure.

“Jayden James had to be kept in hospital overnight for observations,” said the source. “We don’t yet know what’s wrong with him. Britney was insistent that wouldn’t leave him. She asked for a bed to be made up in the same room so she could be there at his side.”

Papa K-Fed was believed to be making the out-of-state venture to be by Jayden’s bedside. Well, we hope nothing serious is wrong with small fry! Get better, little dude!

Image source: Barcroft Media

Related Posts

• Britney’s Good Day In Court.
• Britney’s Jayden Is Gonna Be Alright.
• Britney Spears Gives Up Custody Fight.
• One Big Happy.
• Britney Spears Is Right On Track!

As if a humiliating tell-all book wasn’t enough…

Last month, Lynne Spears released a tell-all book about her two troubled daughters, their Cheeto addictions and their sexy time as teenagers. And NOW because of the success of the book, Lynne wants to ride this cash train as long as she can! CHOO!!! CHOOO!!! Therefore, the country bumpkin mama wants her book to hit the big screen, y’all! And she believes it WILL be a hit.

In fact, Lynne already has chosen who she’d like to cast in as her beloved Cheeto and her own hillbilly booty.

According to a source, ‘Scary Movie’ actress Anna Faris is being considered to play the lead while Lynne allegedly wants Julia Roberts to play her part. “She’s pitching the book around to studios,” the Sun quoted a source close to Lynne as saying. “She even says she wants Julia Roberts to play her. It’s insane!” the source added.

Ummm yeah. I highly doubt Julia would agree to such a role. In any case, good luck with that Lynne-y Tin Tin!

Related Posts

• Don’t Give Your $24.99 To Lynne Spears.
• Lynn Spears Sells Out Her Daughters
• Birthday Bitches
• Birthday Bitches
• Birthday Bitches

Britney Spears will appear in a documentary about her tumultuous very public breakdown, admitting that she had no idea what in the world she was thinking during that time of unlimited Cheetos bags consumption and frap mustaches.

From her bitter divorce, her custody battle, rehab, her very public meltdowns and even that one memorably bad performance at the MTV Video Music Awards…Brit is setting the record straight.

Brit told a source, “I sit there and I look back and I’m like, ‘I’m a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?’ I’ve been through a lot in the past two or three years, and there’s a lot that people don’t know.”

If you really want to know what happened to Brit during that nuts-o period, you’ll watch.

MTV. November 30th…conveniently schedule just one week before her new album release.

Related Posts

• Wino Strikes Again!
• Shania Sends Mutt To The Pound.
• Michelle Williams And Matilda Hang With Heath’s BFF.
• Gisele Bundchen Didn’t Pull A Britney.
• What????!! Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

You remember that scum bag paparazzi freak Britney hung around during her pink wig days? Well, Adnan Ghalib has come out of hiding to announce he has a sex tape for sale.

According to Britney’s ex-douchebag, there IS a Britney sex tape and he’s willing to sell it if the price is right.

Adnan told Heat magazine: “There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical inquiries. Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further.”

Adnan added: “I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney.”

Yeah, ‘cuz a sex tape isn’t selling the Cheeto-rific pop star out. What’s next–a book? If Britney’s own mother sells her out, it’s pretty much a given that a paparazzo boyfriend would sell the star out.

It is a real shame that the Britster moved into that mansion. See what that HOUSE has done?

Related Posts

• Britney Does New York.
• Britney’s Ex-Boy Toy Stabbed.
• Britney’s $8 Million Mansion Jinxed?
• Lynn Spears Sells Out Her Daughters
• Wanna Hear Britney’s ‘Circus’?