Damn. WHYYYYY? WHYYYYYYYYY? We sure as hell don’t want peg leg living here…permanently. It seems as if the British don’t want Heather Mills residing in Heather’s native England either and quite frankly, I don’t blame ‘em! However it seems we Americans are stuck with Miss Golddigger…for now.

Heather told a source, “It’s just so positive” (living in America), she said. ‘When I did Dancing with the Stars, it was just so amazing. I love England and I always will. But you know, it seems like I can really get a lot done in America on the causes I really care about.” (And not get ragged on as much.)

Even though Heather and little Beatrice (her daughter with Paul McCartney) are based in America, they still have kept their residence in East Sussex. You know, just in case she accidentally trips over her heels in the middle of Times Square, tragically breaking her “good” leg giving her no other choice but to haul ass back to England to get a new peg leg and forever remain a recluse in England because nobody there wants to see her nasty plastic face with dollar signs in her eyes ever again.

Despite claims that Heather has spent her millions on plastic surgery and other frivolous activities, Heather defends that she has spent her divorce settlement on charitable events and other worthy “projects”. “I’m in a really good place at the moment. I’m really at peace.”

Shoot, I’d be at peace too if I knew I had millions of dollars to do whatever the hell I pleased. Heather Mills is the definition of the perfect gold digger…I’ll give her a high five for that!

Meg Ryan flapped her trap about her tragic divorce with Dennis Quaid, so don’t you think for a minute that Dennis was going to remain hush hush…especially when she ranted on about HIS cheating. Oh, no! Things are getting juicy.

Dennis told a source, “It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship.

Also, I find it regrettable that our son, Jack, has to be reminded in a public way of the turmoil and pain that every child feels in a divorce.

I, myself, moved on years ago and am fortunate to have a happy, beautiful family.”

My question is, why did Meg decide to open up about all of this NOW? It’s a little late to salvage a career/image that was tarnished YEARS ago.

nicklachey

Many say they love a man in uniform and while that may be true, I must admit…seeing Nick Lachey wearing this white apron kinda takes my breath away. Holy Hotness! Not to downplay the apron, but I’m pretty sure Nick could wear a clown suit and still be effing sexy…red squishy nose and all. But, this apron really takes the cake. Vanessa Manillo, you are one lucky beotch!

And while Nick’s ex Jessica Simpson has been making a damn fool of herself publicly (pretty much every damn day) ever since their brutal divorce, Nick has been dedicating his time (as of late) to the less fortunate.

On Tuesday, Nicky volunteered his time at the Food Bank For New York City’s Community Kitchen in Harlem. Thus, the apron. There will be sweet dreams for me tonight!

NOT! All I know is this bitch is freakin’ nuts. Now that she has all the money she could possibly want after splitting from former Beatle Paul McCartney, Heather Mills has dollar signs in her eyes once again. In fact, I’m not quite sure the money signs in her eyes have even really left.

After enduring a “painful” divorce from Paul McCartney, Heather is planning on diving her snooty nose into penning a book. Yes, another one.

A source close to Miss Mills said: ‘Heather has written the treatment for a novel about a model and campaigner who marries the most famous rock star in the world.

‘She will be marketing the book as a work of fiction. But it doesn’t take a genius to realize what is really behind this book - the thing which infuriated her the most about the divorce was that she was gagged from ever telling her side of the marriage.

‘This is her way of getting the information out there. ‘It chronicles all the model’s trials and tribulations with the rock legend.

‘It’s a rags-to-riches tale taking in her tough childhood, how she struggled to make it as a model and then how this famous rock star met her at an awards ceremony and how they fell in love.

‘She has incorporated all sorts of other characters.

‘There is a hard-nosed professional woman who is part of the rock star’s team who sides against the model and tries to make her life difficult - that will inevitably be seen to be Paul’s divorce lawyer Fiona Shackleton.

‘The rock star’s first wife had passed away and his children can never get over that fact, so they gang up against the model, who they see as money grabbing and an opportunist.

‘Those characters will inevitably seen to be based on McCartney’s children Stella, Mary and James.

‘The pair start rowing and the fights often end violently. The rock star is painted as a deeply flawed character whose mind has been warped by years of being treated like a god.

‘He finds solace in drinking and smoking cannabis which gives him mood swings.’

Ummmmm. Alrighty, then. I’d rather swim in a pool full of leeches than read what this chick has to say. Ok, maybe I wouldn’t go that far…but I wouldn’t read it! Would you?

It is probably safe to say that Donnie Wahlberg is probably the saddest kid on the block today. Either that, he’s relieved. But, probably still sad. After 9 years of marriage, Donnie is going to the big D and I don’t mean Dallas!

His soon-to-be-ex Kim filed for divorce and cited the famous “irreconcilable differences” according to court documents filed Aug. 13 with the Los Angeles Superior Court.

Kim is seeking custody of the couple’s two rug rats, Alexander, 15, and Elijah, 7.

The Beatles were so wrong. Money can buy love! Despite rumors of Balthazar Getty cutting Sienna Miller off from the ole’ peen, the scandalous duo were seen shopping TOGETHER in Malibu this week.

Don’t get your panties all in a bundle peeps. Sienna isn’t as much of a ho as we think she is!

A source said, “Sienna and Balthazar met through friends and he was already separated from his wife. He should have announced his separation a lot earlier than he did - he’d been sleeping on friends’ couches for six months. She was always told he was separated.”

So, I wonder when we’ll hear of an engagement? Oh wait…Mr. G needs to get a divorce FIRST! Silly me. Sienna’s love life is much more interesting than ANY movie she has worked on. Don’t ‘cha think?

Pink films a scene for her new video “So What”.

After a divorce from her now-ex Cary Hart, Pink (Alecia Moore) has a lot to sing about. And amidst rumors that Pink would be getting back together with her ex, Pink confirms that they won’t be joining forces anytime soon, however they still remain close friends. Since the divorce, Pink has been holed up in a studio working on her next album which is set to release October 28th.

Woohoo! I’m super pumped…I *heart* Pink.

Here’s a little letter Pink wrote to her fans and posted up on her official site:

So for those of you who want a little listen to “So What”…you can check it out here. Be sure to come back and let us know what you think! We are totally digging it.

Thoughts?

As if Morgan Freeman doesn’t have ENOUGH to worry about…

Just days after getting into an accident, Morgan Freeman and his wife of 24 years are throwing in the towel. According to his business partner Bill Luckett, the couple have been separated since December 2007 ‘for legal and practical purposes’, so it doesn’t come as a huge surprise that DIVORCE was inevitable. But, WHY NOW right after a near-fatal crash?

Hmmm…I’m wondering if his female passenger Demaris Meyer had anything to do with this split? Meyer is said to be a “good” friend of Freeman. If we refer to being a “good” friend in a Chris Brown-Rihanna sense, we KNOW what this means! There’s some freaky-deaky-ness going on that we DON’T want to know about. Morgan Freeman is like Hollywood’s grandpa! Nothing like geriatric sexy time implanted in one’s mind.

Sarah Jessica Parker and her hubby Matthew Broderick spent some quality time out on the beach together building sandcastles and showing the world that they are still very much together. Sure looks like they are having…umm…fun?

Despite reports of Matt-dog cheating on Sarah with a 25-year-old while she filmed the “Sex And The City” movie, a source says Sarah will NOT kick Matt to the curb.

Sarah will never leave Matthew,’ says an insider. ‘Cheating isn’t a deal breaker for her. They have a very strong marriage.’

Well, in that case…you KNOW Matt will keep on keeping on. Let’s HOPE not. (seriously though…once a cheat, usually ALWAYS a cheat.) Poor SPJ.

Just a week after it started, it’s now over. The nasty divorce trial is a done deal between Christie Brinkley and her sex-addicted ex-husband David Cook.

According to reports, The former couple reached a settlement in the early hours of Thursday morning following intense negotiations. Thank gawd!

Details of the deal are expected to emerge today. Team Brinkley!

UPDATE: Christie was awarded all the property and the children, while David received $1 million in cash. Looks like Christie has got it made! Cook obviously didn’t want anymore aspects of his sexual life to erupt to the surface. As if ENOUGH hasn’t already! Yikes.