If YOU were married to Madge and deprived of the vadge, good gawd you’d be boozing it up and celebrating daily!

Granted Guy hasn’t been “all play”. He has been working his tushy off on his next film project Sherlock Holmes, while in the meantime enjoying a few cocktails and company of friends. And I say, CHEERS TO THAT!

Meanwhile back in the Wicked Witch of the West’s world, she and the kiddies are hanging out in New York.

But Madge better be prepared! Guy has lawyered up with a top lawyer in his battle with the witchy woman over where their children should live. Madge, of course, wants to stay in New York to be closer to her new boy toy Alex Rodriguez.

Needless to say, things are about to get real interesting.

Image Source: Focus Pictures

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Because when a marriage is on the road to destruction, the best thing to do is get knocked up, right? Not that Katie Price and Peter Andre are completely dunzo, but man oh man have those rumors been floating around in the cyberworld. Katie Price tried to prove her marriage wasn’t in trouble by flying out to Los Angeles to join her man for a few photo ops. And just today, Katie took her presumed publicity stunt one step further.

Katie Price has officially announced to the world that she plans on having more rug rats with her greasy hubby Peter Andre. Those poor kids have not even been conceived yet and I already feel sorry for them. Is that wrong?

Katie told Ok! Magazine, “I want to have another three kids biologically and then adopt, but if something happened and there was a child who needed a home before that, then I’d do it.”

Hmmmm. These two remind me of Madge and Guy all over again. Barf.

Image Source: David Dyson

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Ever since money hungry Heather Mills received her big payday for being married to Paul McCartney, she has been throwin’ her millions around like its her frickin’ job.

In fact, Heather must have been so excited to put in a million-dollar swimming pool that she “forgot” to ask permission to build the 40ft x 22ft pool.

When planners from Rother District Council stopped by for a follow-up visit to make sure she had taken down a marquee that she was in violation of earlier this year…they discovered the huge, luxurious pool that they ultimately found that Mills DIDN’T receive permission to build THAT either.

Either bitch doesn’t care or oops-she-forgot. Considering she broke the rules earlier this year and was warned, I’m thinking girlfriend believes she is ABOVE the law. Grrrr….

Mills has since filed an appeal stating that the pool could be used to help douse house fires in the area. She should have added that she would suit up and fight the fires herself with the water from her pool. That would have been more considerate.

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Hey, it’s the we-still-love-each-other-look-at-us-and-take-our-picture photo op! Peter Andre and Katie Price reunited for lunch at paparazzi hot spot the Ivy in Los Angeles looking forcibly happy.

These two need a freakin’ clue. If you are going to try to make your marriage look like everything is hunky dory, at least make the photo op believable.

How much longer until a divorce announcement?

Image Source: Splash

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Glamazon Katie Price made her arrival at LAX airport an entrance of desperation as she flashed her wedding ring for all to see. Barf.

The caked-on-makeup-fake-boobied children’s book author has been the subject of much speculation that a divorce is near with husband Peter Andre. But, Katie decided the best way to solve this rumor was to Minnie Mouse the situation.

Katie sported a Minnie Mouse t-shirt and spider-like eyelashes that was sure to bring smiles and cheer to all who see her. Does Andre have a mouse fetish we aren’t yet aware of?

She did forget the bow though. The bow would be enough to save any marriage.

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Amidst rumors of a troubled marriage, Katie Price hops on a flight to Los Angeles to be with her husband Peter Andre. Yawn.

We’ve seen this all too well before, peeps. Rumors of a divorce start swirling…the couple reunites for a take-that-media-we-still-love-each-other photo op…then comes the calm…and then comes the big D storm.

And, I don’t mean Dallas.

We do wish Katie and Peter well, but we do know a good publicity stunt when we see it! How long until the couple canoodles and hold hands for the paps?

Image Source: Splash

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Apparently Madge isn’t playing very nice in this divorce to Guy Ritchie and quite frankly I expected some real nastiness to take over Madge’s charming personality. “Madonna has been taunting Guy Ritchie with dozens of weird text messages. Director Guy, 40, showed crew on the set of his latest film Sherlock Holmes one which read: ‘You’re going down.’ He said he found his estranged wife’s behavior odd, but that he is used to it by now. And he confided in one pal: ‘This is her idea of a joke – but it’s not funny. Imagine what it was like living with her.’” Can you just picture what Madge’s veiny, sunk-in face probably looked like when she sent these text messages? Yikes!

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Reports have surfaced that mean old Madge drew up a marriage contract that Guy Ritchie had to abide by on a daily basis. In other words, Madge had Guy on a leash AND in a cage.

How come this marriage contract doesn’t seem to make me drop my jaw, shake my head, and point my finger in disbelief??

After attending counseling two years ago, the alleged document detailed a list of rules for Guy in which he was told he ‘must work to enrich his wife’s emotional and spiritual well-being’, ‘resolve conflicts in a constructive way’, and devote time to the couple’s ’sexual expressiveness’.

But, wait…it gets even better…

According to The Sun the document even had instructions on what words Guy should use during arguments, and he was told to ’state calmly: I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this.’ He was also expected to spend several hours reading Kabbalah texts with his estranged wife.

So, there you have it. Sounds like one hellish life, if you ask me. The question I have is what was Madge instructed to do to help improve their marriage?

According to the details revealed…not a damn thing. And why is that you ask?

Well didn’t you know that in a marriage only one person should be forced to do all the work? DUH!

Image Source: PhotoLink

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Call me out if I’m digging a little bit too deep into the Madge-Guy Ritchie divorce battle here, but…it seems Madge is all for throwing daggers. Her latest stint? Dressing Rocco in a New York Yankees jersey. According to a source, eight-year-old Rocco was accompanied by his mother, sister Lourdes and a huge security team at the Chelsea Piers Gym yesterday.

It hasn’t even been a week since the announcement of a divorce, however it seems Madge is doing her best to make Mr. Ritchie pissed off to the maximum. For all of you who have been living under a rock, rumors of an affair with New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez has been THE rumor that has been swirling for months now…especially since Alex called it quits with his ex-wife Cynthia this summer.

Either Madonna is committing a big NO-NO by using her children as pawns in this nasty divorce or perhaps Rocco’s favorite baseball team really IS the New York Yankees and he simply wanted to wear that jersey?

Hmmm. What do YOU think?

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“There are lots of things about England that I love, but my husband isn’t one of them.”
–Madonna reportedly told a friend.

Ouch.

Image Source: Photo by Brendan Beirne / Rex Features

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