Dolly Parton | Danity Donnaly

This Just In: Jessica To Ruin Rascal Flatts Tour Experience.

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Just when I thought I’d buy tickets to see the Rascal Flatts, I need to seriously reconsider. I just logged into my myspace account and the first thing I see is one of Jessica’s 10 fans promoting this news in a bulletin. I about choked on my diet coke.

Breaking News! Jessica Simpson to tour with Rascal Flatts

Multi-platinum selling group Rascal Flatts announced plans today to continue their sold-out “Bob That Head Tour” into 2009. The 2008 leg will wrap up November 2, after a two-day play in Uncasville, Connecticut at Mohegan Sun. “Bob That Head Tour” winter 2009 dates will launch in mid-January and will run with approximately 25 shows. Dates, cities and on-sales will be announced later this fall. Epic/Columbia Nashville’s Jessica Simpson will open the 2009 “Bob That Head Tour” shows.

Jessica Simpson grew up with a mix of musical influences, and while it was her multi-Platinum pop success that introduced her to countless fans, it was country music where she found her heart. The release of her Epic/Columbia Nashville debut country album, Do You Know, was met with a resounding cheer, debuting at 1 on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart and launching Jessica’s first country hit, “Come on Over.” It’s one of eight songs she co-wrote for the album, which also includes her new single, “Remember That,” and the title track, featuring friend and hero, Dolly Parton. Acknowledging her roots as a country girl, Jessica has said, “I took the long way around to get back to where I came from,” but with Do You Know, she’s truly found her home.”

Do I REALLY want to see THIS…LIVE?

Forget it, I’m already feeling nauseous. I think I’ll pass.

I’m wondering how much Papa Joe had to pay these guys to allow her to take the stage before them. Of course he wanted her to perform on an already SOLD OUT tour. And, how fitting would a “Bob Your Head” tour be for Chestica?

Well…I’ll let you figure that one out…

Image Source: Wire Image

Jessica Simpson Is Still Obsessed With Tony Romo.

Friday, September 19th, 2008

Whether you like it or not, the Papa Joe puppet and wanna-be Dolly Parton known as Jessica Simpson has the number one country record. Yeah, boo hiss. But, who cares about that? All Jessica seems to flap her jaw about is her gomer-looking boyfriend, Tony Romo. Come on, it ISN’T ALL about the music.

“Tony is a great quarterback, but he’s a better boyfriend,” Simpson tells People. “I’m seriously proud of myself for letting him into my life.” Translation: I’m so glad my Papa Joe arranged this relationship for me. He didn’t have to pay him too much either. At least I don’t think so. Hee Hee.

Claiming that she’s tough to be around — “I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABCs” — she says she’s thankful for her Cowboy. “Through all the chaos and torment and everything I go through, I can lay in his arms and finally rest,” she says. Ummm…ok, then. I think she forgot to mention that poor Tony has to wear a gas mask every night he goes to bed too. Sounds like it’s the chaos and torment SHE puts Tony through that she needs to worry about. Good grief.

Anytoot, Jessica performed last night for charity, helping to raise money for the Rape Crisis Center in Las Vegas. Click after the jump for Jessica’s best John Mayer impersonations. Damn, sometimes I wish they would have stayed together and performed together on stage. That would have been one sweet moment full of goofy facial expressions. Oh. Well.
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Jessica Wants To Bust Out Like Dolly!

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Whether you like it or not, prepare to see more and more and more of Jessica Simpson…only we will be seeing the country-bumpkin side of Jessica. You ready, ya’ll? Jessica is preparing for her country album titled “Do You Know” to be released September 8th. I’m not sure what it is what we are supposed to know, but the mystery of not knowing what she wants us to know is just Jessica’s sneaky way of tricking us into dishing out some dough for her pockets. (One thing I do KNOW is that Papa Joe is working behind-the-scenes developing a sneaky PR stunt to whip out at us…sneaky fox that he is…Sneaky, sneaky Papa Joe.)

Oh, and don’t be surprised if along the promotional tour you see Jessica pull some Dolly Parton’s.

Jess told a source, “Dolly is awesome! I idolize her. And she is beautiful. I would love to be just like her. I have worked with her and it was great.”

That’s ALL we need is another Dolly Parton.