My Name Is Earl.
Friday, August 15th, 2008
Inside the mind of Earl Simmons:
Hi. My name is Earl. They called me DMX when I was cool. But, the coppers know me as Earl. In fact, the coppers know me real well. Guess what? I got arrested. Again. This is the 456809480507078th time. I’m a loser. I like Doritoes. No, I’m not a loser because I like Doritoes. I’m a loser ‘cuz I think it’s cool to get in trouble with the law. A bag of Doritoes is my munchy of choice. I’m dumb. Real dumb. Don’t know why I got arrested, but I did.
Well, Earl…he’s got some freakin’ problems!
According to reports, Earl was taken into custody outside a Wal-Mart store in north Miami Beach on a warrant issued by a Maricopa County Superior Court commissioner.
I’m guessing he got busted on a “munchy run”.
The 37-year-old, who has a home outside Phoenix, failed to appear on Tuesday for a pretrial conference on charges relating to marijuana and drug paraphernalia possession, one of several legal battles he faces in Arizona.
Take the keys and lock him up!
