Jennifer Aniston | Danity Donnaly

D Is For Douche.

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

John Mayer wants his cake and will eat it too. Because Jennifer Aniston has laid the smack down on John Mayer’s flap trapping when it comes to the media about their boot knockin’, John Mayer ain’t got shiz to talk about. Instead, John takes to his blog to talk about cakes. What is Jen turning John into Betty Crocker now, too? Or is this just some sentimental secret revelation that is supposed to soften our hearts?

Anyman, Johnny gives us an insight to what his holiday spirit entails through his bloggy blog:

And to make sure that triumph continues through the holiday season, I am dedicating this blog to the spirit of the holidays. And what is the best way to harness that spirit? Through baking cakes.

I will debut my first of several festive holiday cakes this Saturday night. I invite everyone reading this to join me in the simple joy of expression through baking, and to send me photos of your delicious creations. You think I’m crazy now, but once you apply the last dollop of frosting, or that finishing touch of icing, you’ll understand that there’s just no hiding from the feeling.

And there’s definitely no hiding from the standing ovation I just gave Johnny and the sudden urge to clap uncontrollably.

Everybody clap now…

Pat a cake, Pat a cake, baker’s man, Bake me a cake as fast as you can;
Pat it and roll it and mark it with a “D”
And put it in the oven for Douche-y and me! YAY!!!

Click HERE to check out some of Johnny’s cake creations. I must admit…Johnny’s cakes look good enough to eat!

Image Source: Splash

Angelina Jolie Says Bye Bye.

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

Kind of.

No, no, no…The Saint of the World is not pregnant again. The woman JUST gave birth to twins a short time ago for gawd’s sake. And no, no, no she’s NOT leaving her love partner Brad Pitt because of Jennifer Aniston’s “uncool” jab.

However, Saint Angelina has announced that she plans on bowing out of acting to stay home with her 3949458 kids. It should come as no surprise to anyone especially because her love for her children is apparent.

When interviewed by the BBC while promoting her new film, Changeling, Angelina revealed that she would not be acting for much longer. Boo. Sad, I know.

Asked in the interview whether she thought the possibility of her looks fading could affect a lengthy career, Jolie said: ‘I don’t think about it much because I don’t plan to keep acting very long.’

‘I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day. So I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be something and be a celebrity and be a successful actress forever.

I think it’s nice, I’ve had a time to tell stories and be able to be successful enough to tell the ones I want to tell, and (to) earn some money at the same time is great.

But everything comes in seasons and, you know, I hopefully won’t be needing to do that later in my life in any way.”

However, she could pull a Michael Jordan and come back for one hot minute.

Asked if she had given herself a cut-off point when she no longer wanted to be an actress, Jolie said: “I don’t think I’ll ever say I’m never ever going to work because maybe there’s that interesting project where I feel creative - but certainly I think now I haven’t worked for a year.

“I’ll work for a few months in February. I won’t work again probably for another year. So maybe it’ll be once a year and maybe it’ll be once every three years and just naturally - I like being home a lot these days.”

My prediction is within 6 months, the Jolie-Pitt brood will have yet another child added to the mix. From which country? THAT is the tricky question.

Image Source: XPosure

Mr. Pitt Is A Tad Pissed.

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

Watch out, peeps. Shiznit is about to get ugly. Brad Pitt’s panties are in a bunch. Yes, it’s been four years since the Pitt-Aniston traumatic divorce. However, Saint Angelina set herself up for trouble when she PUBLICLY admitted she fell in love with Pitt on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith…which as you all know at that particular time, Brad and Jennifer were STILL MARRIED.

Four years later, Jennifer spoke to Vogue dubbing The Saint “uncool”. Because Jennifer Aniston took a small jab at The Saint Of The World for stealing her husband from her, Brad is furious.

Let me tell you one thing Bradley…paybacks are a beotch!

A source close to the Pitt-Jolie camp told columnist Bill Zwecker that the couple were ‘totally thrown’ by her remarks, thinking she had ‘moved on and wouldn’t want to reopen this old wound.’

Zwecker commented: ‘One would have to assume Pitt’s irritation was due to Aniston’s comment that it was ‘uncool’ Jolie came clean about falling in love with her married co-star in Mr & Mrs Smith.

‘But still, it was Pitt who cheated on Aniston leading to a horribly public split that was clearly humiliating for the popular actress.’

I say they end this feud once and for all. How about a group hug?

Jennifer Aniston Dubs Saint Angelina As “Uncool”.

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

It’s been FOUR years since the divorce that had the world crying. But, 39394858 kids later and a scandalous alleged affair with the Saint of The World, Brad Pitt has obviously moved on…while Jennifer is finally speaking. And trust me when I say this, Miss Jenny Jen Jen is gonna help sell a ridiculous amount of December Vogue magazines!

Here are a few of the highlights from the highly anticipated interview:

On Things Saint Angelina Told Media Outlets About Her Relations With Pitt:

“There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool.”

On Whether She Has Had Contact With Her Ex:

“I have nothing but absolute admiration for him, and I’m proud of him. We have exchanged a few very kind hellos and wishing you wells and sending you love and congratulations on your babies.”

On Why The Divorce Wasn’t THAT Horrible:

“Well, it never was that bad. I mean, look, it’s not like divorce is something that you go, “Oooh, I can’t wait to get divorced!” It doesn’t feel like a tickle. But I’ve got to tell you, it’s so vague at this point, it’s so faraway in my mind, I can’t even remember the darkness. I mean, in the end, we really had an amicable split. It wasn’t mean and hateful and all of this stuff that they tried to create about Brad can’t talk to Jen and Jen can’t talk to Brad because this person won’t allow it. It just didn’t happen. The marriage didn’t work out.”

On Why People Need To Quit Feeling Sorry For Her:

“This whole “Poor lonely Jen” thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love? I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love. Just because at this stage my life doesn’t have the traditional framework to it - the husband and the two kids and the house in Connecticut - it’s mine.

It’s my experience. And if you don’t like the way it looks, then stop looking at it! Because I feel good. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I’m not. I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

On Boy Toy John Mayer:

“We care about each other. It’s funny when you hit a place in a relationship and you both realize, “We maybe need to do something else,” but you still really, really love each other.

It’s painful. There was no malicious intent. I deeply, deeply care about him; we talk, we adore one another. And that’s where it is.”

Source: Vogue

Why Does Will Smith Win Everything?

Saturday, November 8th, 2008

According to a poll conducted by Entertainment Tonight and Parade Magazine, Big Willy Style Smith is OFFICIALLY America’s favorite star. Ughhhhh….excuse me while I throw up. It’s not that I don’t like Big Will…it’s just that I am sick of him winning every damn award out there. What’s next? The non-bathroom-stinker-upper award?

Anystyle, here are the money-bag hags who rounded out the top ten:

1. Will Smith

2. Tom Hanks

3. Reese Witherspoon

4. George Clooney

5. Meryl Streep

6. Brad Pitt

7. Julia Roberts

8. Johnny Depp

9. Jennifer Aniston

10. Patrick Dempsey

What the deuce? It seems Angelina got snubbed out of the top ten! Apparently ET and Parade are and have been Team Aniston.

On a happier note, it sure looks like I am not the only one who thinks Tom Cruise should join a county fair placenta stew cook off. Tommy got shafted!

Thank Gawd It’s Not Kate Hudson.

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Owen Wilson seems to have moved on from his troubled times and is steering himself in the right direction. Nothing like a walk on the beach with a special someone that hopefully you can go home and enjoy some sexy time with. Go Owen!!!

If you don’t recall, Owen tried to kill himself after his tragic breakup with Kate Hudson. I know, right…so so sad. Then Kate tried weaseling her way back into Owen’s life just months later. The nerve!

So, I’m happy to post this pic of Owen with a woman other than Hudson. Yay! Let’s hope Owen has found inner happiness and a new-found respect for himself.

Courtney Cox Is Cougarlicious.

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Now that Courtney’s “Dirt” has been swept under the rug, Ms. Cox-Arquette is taking a second shot at sitcom success.

Courtney’s new role? A cougar in “Cougar Town”.

ABC has ordered a comedy pilot in which the former “Friends” star will play an attractive newly single 40-year-old mom with a 17-year-old son. It comes from “Scrubs” creator Bill Lawrence.

Mr. Lawrence thought Courtney would be PURRRRfect for the role because she is “comedically fearless”.

Well, when your career is hanging by a thread, sometimes you have to take some risks that may involve kissing your best friend on national television.

In all sincerity, I do hope this one works out for Courtney. Production will start sometime in January of 2009.

Jen And John Are Mountainside Lovers.

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Jen and John may be trying to keep their love on the down low, but sorry to break it to ya, it ain’t gonna happen.

The desperate duo have been attempting to piece their relationship back together after breaking up in August following their intense summer romance.

According to tabloid Star magazine, Johnny and Jen spent a romantic weekend together at Sanctuary Camelback Mountain Resort & Spa in Paradise Valley. What better way to rekindle a romance than by camping out mountainside. I’m sure John serenaded Jen beneath the bright corn moon…yodeling a familiar folk tune with pained constipation facial expressions only Jen could appreciate. HOT!

They stayed at a private home within the resort that that costs $4000 a night and comes with a home cinema, outdoor Jacuzzi and flagstone fireplace.

Hmmmm, I wonder who dished out the ching for this mini-vacation?

A source told The Star: “Their hideaway was tucked into the mountains and was so private that you couldn’t even see the driveway from the street. Once they checked in, the couple was never seen leaving their home.”

Saucy, saucy! Let’s see how long Round Two lasts. What is your prediction on the romance of JenJohn? Will he sperminate her and give her the babies she is longing for?

Image Source: X17Online

John And Man Give It Another Go.

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Just when you think Jennifer Aniston wised up, she has taken a step back and back into the arms of John Mayer, the infamous playboy. Your proof is in the above photo as the love-struck duo joined three friends for dinner at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Hollywood last Tuesday night.

This is the THIRD time the pair have been spotted together in just one week. You KNOW they are knocking boots!

An onlooker said, “They looked like they had the best time. They were holding hands at one point and seemed very much back on. She seemed extremely happy to be back with him. They were close and laughing the whole time with their friends.”

Ok wait one hot minute…I thought you couldn’t reheat old meat? I hate to be a negative Nancy here, but if it didn’t work the first time around, it’s surely not going to work the second time around for the EXACT same reasons. Unless, of course….the bitch is preggers?!

Image Source: x17online

Brad Pitt Gets Rough And Tough In Latest Film.

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

Brad-aholics, today is your lucky day! Angelina may have stole him away from Jennifer, but that doesn’t mean Miss Jolie can prevent us from going goo-goo and gah-gah over HER man. OH, no. The beotch isn’t THAT powerful. Until she develops that power, we have the right to drool and swoon. So, back up off us beotch, while we do JUST THAT!

The pic above is a little sneak peak of Mr. Pitt in Quentin Tarantino’s forthcoming film “Inglorious Basterds” where we will see him play a soldier who scalps Nazis behind enemy lines during World War II.

How glorious does he look?