Posts Tagged ‘Joe Simpson’

Ashlee Simpson Gives Birth To Jungle Baby

Friday, November 21st, 2008

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Ashlee Simpson and her emo husband Pete Wentz finally gave birth to their baby, a little bouncing baby boy. Only thing is, in order to get the initials B-M-W, the lovely couple named their baby after a suburb in New York and a child that prances around in the jungle with red crotch-riding underwear on…one can only assume.

Emo baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed in at 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long and came out of the womb with an emo-hawk and red scundies. How perfectly emo!

Congratulations to the happy new parents. “Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!” a spokesperson told PEOPLE. And huge congrats goes out to the new grandpa, Papa Joe. We suspect Papa Joe will christen his little jungle boy with a big fat gold chain with a pacifier spinner. What a glorious day that will be!

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Posted in Ashlee Simpson, Oh Baby!, Pete Wentz | No Comments »

Minnie Driver And Her Love Child.

Monday, August 11th, 2008

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Could Minnie Driver be using her baby’s mystery papa as a publicity stunt? I know, what a horribly horrendous thing to do, right? I don’t even know if Papa Joe Simpson or even Madonna, the “Queen of Media Manipulation” would stoop to that level…okay, maybe MADONNA would…girlfriend has no shame. And well…maybe Papa Joe would too, for all we know. He is kind of a slimy sneaky fox like that. But, would you expect that from innocent Minnie Driver? Well, you’d be surprised. The quiet, innocent ones are USUALLY the ones to look out for.

It is obvious Minnie’s career as an actress died like TEN years ago…and her singing career is like Shaquille O’Neils rapping career…it pretty much never happened. So, out of desperation to get some decent movie roles, do you think Minnie would go out on a limb here and order up a pity party? Heck, are we even sure there IS a baby in that belly? Or perhaps, she’s trying to play up the missing-baby-papa in order to hopefully gain more attention and earn more money off baby’s first photo shoot? There are so many possible scenarios here…

That sneaky Minnie. I always knew something was fishy about her. It really IS all about the money, isn’t it?!

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Posted in Bun In The Oven, Minnie Driver | 1 Comment »