Posts Tagged ‘Michael Lohan’

Joe Francis Believes LiLo Isn’t A Lesbian.

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

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Despite rumors of trouble in lesbian land, Samantha Ronson and gal pal Lindsay Lohan were spotted out and about yesterday in NYC. They EVEN took the subway. It seems tough economic times have proven trying even for the lesbian lovers.

Despite the SamRon-LiLo love connection, don’t go calling Lindsay a lesbian. It pisses Girls Gone Wild Joe Francis right off. Now that Michael Lohan has shut his trap for one hot minute, Joe seems to be filling the Michael Lohan-word-vomit void quite well.

He rattled off on The Tyra Banks Show about his thoughts on SamRon:

“I care about Lindsay … she’s not gay. She’s being controlled by this like, who I think is a wretched woman, this Samantha Ronson. I just had this whole conflict with Samantha Ronson the other day, where she’s very jealous. … Samantha tried to start a fight with me.”

“I just care about her because she’s sweet. I care about her family, her family cares about her a lot. And Michael and Dina, it’s just taking her down a path that’s just wrong for her.”

Hmmmm, and Joe is a better influence how?

Image Source: Splash

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Michael Lohan To Get His Butt Kicked!

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

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I’m pretty sure there are an infinite number of individuals who would love the opportunity to kick celeb-scrawn Michael Lohan’s butt WITHOUT getting sent to the slammer. However, there is only one LUCKY individual who gets a chance to knock Papa Lohan to the ground.

Bob Venero, the president of Future Tech Enterprise, forked up $30,000 to fight the publicity hound in an upcoming charity boxing match. Bob, you totally got this!

No, Papa Lohan will NOT be pocketing this cash, as much as he may like to. Instead, proceeds will go to charities including the Long Island Community Chest, which provides financial support to needy families.

Anyone know where I can buy tickets to this November 24th event? Damn, I’d pay to see Michael Lohan scurrying around the boxing ring with his tail between his legs.

Team Venero!!!

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Sam and LiLo NOT Engaged.

Friday, September 12th, 2008

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With all these daily rumors of the quickly blooming lesbian romance between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, my head is spinning. Earlier this week Lindsay shot down reports that she wanted to start a family with her new lesbian gal pal. Now just yesterday, Lindsay added fuel to the fire by wearing a sparkling heart-shaped ring on THE finger. Yeah, like she didn’t know that she wasn’t going to get attention for that sneaky little move. Ha! Celebs know that if you wear a ring on THAT finger, rumors are inevitable. Lindsay, Danity has you figured out!

So sorry to say this my lesbian lovin’ peeps, but Lindsay Lohan will stay Lindsay Lohan…for now.

You know what? My guess is these bitches are LOVING the attention…every little morsel of it. They probably sit around in their love shack thinking up little ways to keep the media and us other cyber geeks talking and foaming at the mouth for MORE to talk about.

Heck, they probably invite Michael AND Dina Lohan over for uncrusted PB and J snacks and include them in on the They probably all sit around in their long johns, planning out what their next media scandal should be. Oh my gawd…it just came to me. This is probably all one big HOAX…because in the end all that really matters is money, right?!!!

Lindsay hasn’t even “officially” come out of the closet yet. Maybe this is the buildup to a multi-million dollar interview and exclusive photo shoot revealing what we already know…that Lindsay is in fact gay.

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Michael Lohan Is Freakin’ Pissed.

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

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and vents his frustration to OK! magazine because lawd knows when times get tough for Michael, he cries on the shoulder of the media…This crapola is getting hardcore.

“When I first spoke out, I clearly stated that everything I said and my concerns were generated by my ex-wife, Dina… After a recent phone call from Lindsay while she was traveling on one of Samantha’s DJ gigs, I became very concerned. It was then that we all agreed to have a mother/daughter/father sit-down when Lindsay got to NY.

Everything was arranged and agreed (I have dozens of texts and recordings with Dina to prove it). But when the time came on Sunday, Dina chose to go into NYC and have dinner with Sam, Sam’s mother and Lindsay, rather than address real issues and make things better for Lindsay.

A day later, Dina told me that Sam was writing a book, that Sam was a negative influence on Lindsay and that Sam needs to be out of Lindsay’s life….then she asked me how to do it!!

Matters became worse when Dina said Lindsay was in REAL danger and she needed to save her and get Lindsay into ‘a place!’ These are ALL Dina’s words. Tell me, what father wouldn’t be concerned and even pissed at Sam after hearing this!!???

To even imagine that Dina would then go on vacation is even more sickening! Should we actually believe a women who says whe doesn’t party with Lindsay, get drunk or care about fame? She has been on video and photographed dozens of times with Lindsay, drunk in public, thrown out of events, had public fights with Lindsay and then does a reality show which was so far from the truth, it’s disgusting!

Dina cares? PLEASE!!!! Lindsay was once stalked by a guy [name deleted] who Dina trusted and I said from the get go that I didn’t only for Dina to look the other way when I had to get a task force to track him down.

Dina took a percentage of Lindsay’s money when I NEVER took a red cent! All the while, I only speak out when something is wrong or needs to be made right!

Dina is a money-loving, fame-seeking, self-serving deceiver, who comes from roots of the same.

Meanwhile they say I seek fame! Ha! I am out there doing charity work, going on mission trips, working with the United Nations and trying to help my daughter while spending sleepless nights with a father dying of cancer. Did Dina call my dad, or have the kids visit or send a card to a man who never hurt a fly? NO! Dina raised all this alarm and caused this whole thing!

While guilt may bring a response by some, others like Dina pass the buck and don’t accept any responsibility at all.

All I want is for Lindsay to be healthy and in a good relationship! I want her to use the gifts she has in the best ways and to help others! I said it from the very beginning: Show me who you walk with and I will tell you who you are! People may deceive us, but our eyes and facts don’t! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!”

Wowsers. This guy is a freakin’ nut job. Lovin’ it! Dina? Dina, you are up next!

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Samantha Ronson Responds To Michael’s Attacks.

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

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It must be Myspace blogging mania at the Ronson-Lohan household this evening. Now, Samantha has taken to her blog to throw in her two cents.

Sam writes:

I really don’t want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay’s life- i’m just sorry that she likes me more than him.

p.s. i’m not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it’s safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?

Ohhhhhhh slam damn thank you, ma’am. Mr. Lohan, we await your reply. Wait, does Mi-Lo have a Myspace blog?

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Lindsay Speaks!

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

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In response to what came out of her father’s trappy trap trap earlier today, LiLo takes to her blog on Myspace to vent:

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that’s what i have believed my whole life- don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going…

If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).

He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.

This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.

I’m not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…

I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

Oooo. That’s deep. Take that Mi-Lo!

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Michael Lohan Flaps His Trap About Miss Ronson.

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

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Michael Lohan is the douchiest douche of all douches. The King of Douches. When he speaks, I listen. It would be extremely difficult for me to say that I wouldn’t ever want to hear from Michael Lohan again because I know I would be lying to myself. He’s like Papa Joe, only douchier.

Well, it was only a matter of time before Michael Lohan would be stepping on Lindsay’s coat-tails once again. Flap flap flapping his trappy trap trap. This time he’s speaking out about Lilo’s gal pal Samantha Ronson. You KNOW this is going to get ugly. Don’t mess with the lesbians!

Michael told a source, “I’ve shut up about this long enough. Samantha is using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some Los Angeles DJ. And now she’s writing a book? I am at my wit’s end with this stuff. This is not in Lindsay’s best interest.”

Michael went on to say how upset he is that Samantha drags Lindsay around to all her night club gigs with her.

“Samantha drinks and passes the drinks under the table to Lindsay, and behind the scenes it gets worse and worse. Sam is using my daughter. My daughter isn’t working because she’s always with Sam. Even my ex-wife Dina knows it. She just isn’t doing anything about it.”

Well, if Dina Beana didn’t know before, she sure knows now! Michael keeps douching up his relationship with Lindsay. Does he really want Lindsay to hate him or does he just not know when to keep his thoughts to himself?

I’m thinking the latter. Michael Lohan…a douche with spunk…gotta love him.

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Lindsay And Samantha’s Night Out In NYC.

Friday, July 18th, 2008

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Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson took their love to the next level, openly canoodling in public.

According to a source, Lohan and Ronson celebrated their “outness” with an evening out in New York City. They met Lindsay’s mom Dina and brother at a Sephora Shindig and Samantha spent the evening spinning tunes.

Stage mom and manager Dina Lohan attended the party, as well as Lindsay’s younger brother Michael.

It was one big gay family event!

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Not ANOTHER Lohan!

Friday, June 27th, 2008

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Back in 1995, Michael and Dina Lohan were having some marital troubles. SHOCKER!

While Dina tended to the children (aka. taking her kids on audition marathons), Michael (allegedly) was out spreading his seed.

Some chick by the name of Kristi has come forward saying, yep I did the nasty with Michael Lohan and my thirteen-year-old daughter is HIS! Michael says uh uh…that baby ain’t mine!

Michael told a source, “I was with her twice,” he says. “Then 10 years later, while I was in jail, she called me and told me that her husband at the time turned up negative in the paternity test, and she told me that meant I was the father.

“I haven’t seen [the woman] for 13 years. I believed her at first but now, out of nowhere, she’s gone public. This is a woman with a lot of issues, I don’t know if I can trust her,” he continues, adding that the girl’s name is Ashley.

Oh gravy. Let’s hope there aren’t anymore of them running around. You’d have to be drunk to do the nasty with Michael. No offense, Dina.

Sounds like it’s time to call up Maury!

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