What Couch-Incident, Tom?
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008Oh yeah.
Well, Tommy…we will forgive you and better yet, we HAVE forgiven you. But guess what? We will not forget. That couch-jumping incident has been implanted into our minds like mold on year-old whole wheat bread. And, it sure as heck can not be scraped off. It’s there fo’ lyfe. But, really Tom, are you sorry?
Tom told Hello magazine, “I guess I did court her kind of aggressively. There were things I did at the time that I look back and think, ‘Well, okay, I could have handled a couple of moments better.’ But I was surprised by some of the things that were said about me at the time. It affected us all, and as a father and a husband you want to protect your family.”
See, Tommy can’t even spew out the word “couch”. It embarrasses him. It makes him want to lock himself in his palatial kitchen, whip up a winter’s worth of placenta stew and hibernate for the winter. Not a bad idea, I must say. Katie is programmed to smile when smiling is called to action. She is willing to jump into a black leotard and dance seductively on national television if necessary. And, Suri WILL be just like Katie. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if Suri is going to become a permanent growth on Katie’s hip that will morph into an aquatic being that saves the world with a miraculous placenta stew that forces everyone to believe in the wicked ways of Tom Cruise.
Tom continues, “Suri’s very much like her mother. She’s open and sunny, just like her mom is, but she’s also very determined. I have a happy family with children I adore and a wife I adore, and I get to make movies for a living. I don’t have too much to complain about, you know?”
Oh yeah. I know, Tom. I know. Most times I don’t want to know, but I do. We do. We ALL do. And, that is why you are where and WHO you are today…the couch-jumping freak!
Image Source: Wire Image
