Ever since money hungry Heather Mills received her big payday for being married to Paul McCartney, she has been throwin’ her millions around like its her frickin’ job.

In fact, Heather must have been so excited to put in a million-dollar swimming pool that she “forgot” to ask permission to build the 40ft x 22ft pool.

When planners from Rother District Council stopped by for a follow-up visit to make sure she had taken down a marquee that she was in violation of earlier this year…they discovered the huge, luxurious pool that they ultimately found that Mills DIDN’T receive permission to build THAT either.

Either bitch doesn’t care or oops-she-forgot. Considering she broke the rules earlier this year and was warned, I’m thinking girlfriend believes she is ABOVE the law. Grrrr….

Mills has since filed an appeal stating that the pool could be used to help douse house fires in the area. She should have added that she would suit up and fight the fires herself with the water from her pool. That would have been more considerate.

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Gawd Bless Ringo Starr’s little Beatle heart. Just Tuesday we posted a video of Ringo Starr whining and complaining about all the fan mail he was receiving…basically telling all Beatle-maniacs to knock off the letter-writing and autograph requests. He’s done with that shit.

However, he must have realized he was being a douche-bag. So, because he doesn’t have any EXTRA time for his fans, Ringo took the time out of his “busy” schedule to clean up the annoying word puke that foamed from his mouth earlier this week.

Now before you read this…please, PLEASE be mellow. THE Ringo speaks:

“The ban on fan mail was “in direct response to an inordinate amount of items which have recently appeared for sale on e-bay, and to those that repeatedly send cards and items to be signed.” Starr also felt all the mail was “a waste of paper and we all should be mindful of our carbon footprint… Please read this in a mellow way. Peace and love, Ringo.”

Ok, thank gawd I’m mellow because I was about to get my panties in a bunch. I can appreciate the fact that he cares about the environment, but I’m guessing it’s the whole eBay buyers and sellers that are pissing Ringo right off. And, rightfully so. So, just a couple simple inquiries here….

Is recyclable paper acceptable? And, how do you distinguish the REAL fans from the money hounds? Pffft.

The REAL question is…what else does this old dude have to do besides roll around in the money he earned from his Beatles days?

I say, “Keep signing beotch! Your fans AND Paul McCartney made you!”

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Damn. WHYYYYY? WHYYYYYYYYY? We sure as hell don’t want peg leg living here…permanently. It seems as if the British don’t want Heather Mills residing in Heather’s native England either and quite frankly, I don’t blame ‘em! However it seems we Americans are stuck with Miss Golddigger…for now.

Heather told a source, “It’s just so positive” (living in America), she said. ‘When I did Dancing with the Stars, it was just so amazing. I love England and I always will. But you know, it seems like I can really get a lot done in America on the causes I really care about.” (And not get ragged on as much.)

Even though Heather and little Beatrice (her daughter with Paul McCartney) are based in America, they still have kept their residence in East Sussex. You know, just in case she accidentally trips over her heels in the middle of Times Square, tragically breaking her “good” leg giving her no other choice but to haul ass back to England to get a new peg leg and forever remain a recluse in England because nobody there wants to see her nasty plastic face with dollar signs in her eyes ever again.

Despite claims that Heather has spent her millions on plastic surgery and other frivolous activities, Heather defends that she has spent her divorce settlement on charitable events and other worthy “projects”. “I’m in a really good place at the moment. I’m really at peace.”

Shoot, I’d be at peace too if I knew I had millions of dollars to do whatever the hell I pleased. Heather Mills is the definition of the perfect gold digger…I’ll give her a high five for that!

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NOT! All I know is this bitch is freakin’ nuts. Now that she has all the money she could possibly want after splitting from former Beatle Paul McCartney, Heather Mills has dollar signs in her eyes once again. In fact, I’m not quite sure the money signs in her eyes have even really left.

After enduring a “painful” divorce from Paul McCartney, Heather is planning on diving her snooty nose into penning a book. Yes, another one.

A source close to Miss Mills said: ‘Heather has written the treatment for a novel about a model and campaigner who marries the most famous rock star in the world.

‘She will be marketing the book as a work of fiction. But it doesn’t take a genius to realize what is really behind this book - the thing which infuriated her the most about the divorce was that she was gagged from ever telling her side of the marriage.

‘This is her way of getting the information out there. ‘It chronicles all the model’s trials and tribulations with the rock legend.

‘It’s a rags-to-riches tale taking in her tough childhood, how she struggled to make it as a model and then how this famous rock star met her at an awards ceremony and how they fell in love.

‘She has incorporated all sorts of other characters.

‘There is a hard-nosed professional woman who is part of the rock star’s team who sides against the model and tries to make her life difficult - that will inevitably be seen to be Paul’s divorce lawyer Fiona Shackleton.

‘The rock star’s first wife had passed away and his children can never get over that fact, so they gang up against the model, who they see as money grabbing and an opportunist.

‘Those characters will inevitably seen to be based on McCartney’s children Stella, Mary and James.

‘The pair start rowing and the fights often end violently. The rock star is painted as a deeply flawed character whose mind has been warped by years of being treated like a god.

‘He finds solace in drinking and smoking cannabis which gives him mood swings.’

Ummmmm. Alrighty, then. I’d rather swim in a pool full of leeches than read what this chick has to say. Ok, maybe I wouldn’t go that far…but I wouldn’t read it! Would you?

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Oh what a tangled web! Heather Mills is slowly losing her circle of peeps. First Paul kicked her to the curb. Now after FOUR years, Heather has lost her “spinner”. Heather’s publicist Michele Elyzabeth has said enough is enough! Funny how it took ma-belle Michele FOUR years to realize Heather Mills was a freakin’ nut job! Now, if that isn’t DENIAL, I don’t know what is!

Best of luck in finding a NEW publicist, Heather!

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Despite rumors of the Big “D” swirling, a rep for Madonna says NO, the couple is not planning to divorce. Guy must have done some major begging and pleading last night on his last minute trip to NYC.

Rumors that the London-based couple planned to split have been circulating for months, fueled most recently by reports that the singer had lined up Fiona Shackleton, a lawyer for Paul McCartney in his bitter divorce from Heather Mills.

The speculation reached a fever pitch last week in London, where the Daily Mirror newspaper dedicated two front pages to the plight of the couple’s marriage.

Well, we HOPE this is true. Do it for the kids, Madonna. For the kids!

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Paul McCartney is going on a world tour and according to a source Heather Mills will be joining him.  Umm, what?  I thought he wanted to get rid of this hag?

Well, folks, we’ve seemed to forget one very important part of what came out of this marriage, besides a big headache for Paul and some big cha-ching for Heather…a little girl named Beatrice.

Because Paul is set to go on a 14-month world tour, he is determined to see his daughter and not miss any important milestones in her life.  And, in order to do so, guess who’s gotta go with?

Miss Heather Money Bags Mills.

According to a source, “He realizes he has to do some kind of deal with Heather, and to keep disruption to a minimum he has come up with this idea. He feels that letting Heather fly to him where they are touring could be the best way.”

Sounds like it will be a fun tour!

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Even though she did not get the $100’s of millions she wanted, she is being awarded 1/5th of what she initially demanded and she’s happy. WHAT???? What was the point of dragging this all out then?

According to a source, Heather Mills is just “happy it’s all over”. And so is Paul. ‘Cuz $50 mil ain’t shit to him!

Oh, and to figure it all out mathematically, Heather gets $34,000 for each DAY she was married to Paul.

Must be rough!

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