Placenta | Danity Donnaly

Katie Holmes, The “Not So Hot” Sex Kitten.

Friday, October 10th, 2008

After watching this short clip of Katie Holmes trying to seduce some poor guy for her stint on ABC show “Eli Stone”, I almost choked on my diet coke after I saw the windows in my basement start to crack. What in the placenta stew is going on here? I am warning you…turn the damn volume DOWN before you listen to this shrieking. It made my cat start howling and a ball of ear wax shoot out from my left ear. Mind you, I do clean my ears, but something about this clip made it so that I won’t have to clean my ears for at least three months.

Stepford Katie should NOT be allowed to attempt to sing and dance in a leotard with flipped-out hair ever again. Something tells me Tommy Boy had Kate rehearse this over and over and OVER again after a savory meal of placenta stew in their Scientology dungeon.

Hello awkwardness!

Tom Cruise Asks Nicole For Her Placenta.

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

I’m totally kidding. I am just on this placenta kick right now.

With all these celebrity babies being born…these wacky names coming out of the woodwork…windows being sealed up with duct tape…OH MY GAWD, I cannot help myself! Placenta, placenta, placentas galore!

Tom Cruise must be going into convulsions with all the placenta possibilities out there…Placenta pasta, placenta and grits, placenta on a bun…hey, maybe even placenta pie?

Tommy boy could make the ultimate celebrity baby placenta stew right now if he really wanted to…a few slabs of Camilla Alves placenta here…a few morsels of Nicole Kidman placenta there…and a little Isaac Hanson wife’s placenta just to taste…shoot, better wait until Tuesday to throw a little Angelina placenta in there as well. Ok, now that I’ve grossed myself out to the maximum…

On a lighter note, Tom did send his ex-wife Nicole enough flowers to fill an entire room. That Tom! What a guy! I’m sure that made her day. We all know WHY he did that…

Unfortunately, Nicole did NOT offer her placenta to Tom.

Angelina Is A Pissed Off Pregnant Woman!

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

The doors are locked. The windows are sealed up and duct taped. Angelina is holed up in a hospital bed awaiting the arrival of her twin rug rats.

What more could a woman want? Her own wing of a hospital…being treated like royalty…and
don’t even think of trying to capture the moment of birth, the placenta, Brad’s booty (or any sort of action in that hospital room whatsoever). Those windows are paparazzi-proof…JUST for Brangelina.

Tom Cruise has dibbs on the placenta, anyhow. He wants it for a Sunday brunch. (I know, I know…nasty right…but I thought he was a big placenta fan?) Nah, I’m kidding.
Although…Placenta may taste like chicken. Doesn’t everything else?

Shoot, they probably covered up those windows with duct tape so Tom wouldn’t know when the placenta was coming. Haha Tom!

Sources say that when Angelina first arrived to the hospital her politeness was amazing. However, after a few days…not so much.

An insider said, ‘She’s starting to feel that the staff are starstruck and not attentive enough. She’s throwing fits if she rings and they don’t come quick enough.’ The insider continued: ‘I think she’s in meltdown mode. She’s been getting upset if there’s not enough ice in her glass.

‘She’s not walking around anymore. She doesn’t even take a shower early in the morning. She just stays in bed, talking on her phone, typing on her computer, reading magazines and watching TV.”

The only time Angelina lights up is when Brad shows up with the other kids to visit her.

Those babies just aren’t ready to come out! I wouldn’t want to share the spotlight with Brangelina’s other 12453345 kids either.