Plastic Surgery | Danity Donnaly

Your Nipples Just Might Fall Off!

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

As we all know, reality star Kerry Katona is one hot mess. She’s got drug issues, family issues, personal issues, alcohol issues, self-esteem issues, etc. etc. etc. And now, Kerry has more to worry about….her nipples falling off.

In that traumatic slur-fest of an interview on the This Morning show a couple weeks ago, Kerry admitted that she still smokes like a chimney. Now that is all fine and dandy, BUT…because she just underwent a significant amount of plastic surgery, she risks the chance of infection. Not only that, but because she had breast augmentation, Kerry also could lose her nipples. And yes…it CAN happen!

Dr. Stephen Hamilton, Kerry’s plastic surgeon told her, “The risk of wound or healing problems with the skin or nipple is a risk for everyone. In smokers it can be worse because less oxygen reaches the tissue. I’ve never seen a nipple turn black and drop off, but it has happened. It’s a good scare tactic.”

Ummmm, ya think?

That would be enough to make anyone quit smoking…or so you’d think. Who would want to lose their nips? YIKES!!!!

Well, if you are ever walking on your way back from the coffee shop and notice a blackened and charred object on the ground with a burnt skin-like smell, you’ll know what just happened.
How freaky would that be to be walking down the street and see one of Kerry’s nipples on the ground??!! AHHHHH!!!! Make sure you carry a jar with you…you could always sell that shiz on eBay! (We kid.)

Wacko Jacko To Take The Stage In 2009.

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

I had a dream last night of a ghostly creature with a curly shiny mop, beady brown eyes and a perfectly turned up snout. Ever since I heard the news of a possible Jackson Five reunion, I’ve been reciting my ABC’s, perfecting my high-pitched falsetto and prepping for the tour of the year. Contrary to reports of a celebration of sorts, I’ve come to find out that the masked man has denied such a reunion and my heart has since sunk deep into my chest. Why the hell not put on a tour that would bring out Wacko and crew’s most loyal fans?

Talk about a major disappointment. Think of all the ching these men could pocket! But, Michael needs all the money he can get and plans to ditch the other four washed-up old duffs to comeback on a tour of his own. Smart!

The alleged plastic surgery addict revealed, “My brothers and sisters have my full love and support, and we’ve shared many great experiences. But at this time I have no plans to record or tour with them. I am now in the studio developing new and exciting projects that I look forward to sharing with my fans in concert soon.”

Woohoo! Can you not wait to see some package-grabbing, some pelvic thrusts, and that often-imitated-never-duplicated moon walk?

Me? I’m excited to see that nose…up close.

Guess My Age: Priscilla Presley

Friday, October 31st, 2008

I am sure it took many irons, pins and needles, injections, flattening, smooshing, sewing, and stretching to create an expressionless face like Priscilla Presley’s.

Yesterday Priscilla was photographed at a launch in Las Vegas. Pretty soon Lisa Marie will look older than her OWN MOTHER!

Can you guess how old this beotch REALLY is? You may be surprised.

Click after the jump to see the answer.
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Guess The Dimple-y DerriÃ¨re

Monday, October 13th, 2008

Can you guess the celeb who displayed a serious case of dimple-itis on their booty yesterday while prancing around Malibu in white hot pants?

Yeah, this bitch needs to get her STD-filled ass back into the plastic surgeon and get that shit sucked out…PRONTO!

Click after the jump to see whose nasty ass needs an injection.
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Heather Mills Busts Out Of Heathrow Airport.

Friday, September 19th, 2008

Miss Money Bags Heather Mills put her ta-tas on display at Heathrow airport, giving us all reason to talk. Has the lady-with-the-dollar-signs-in-her-eyes undergone plastic surgery giving her goods a bit of a lift or is she wearing the Wonderbra?

Whatever the case may be, the bitch is smiling that evil smile and quite frankly, it’s scaring me. Rumor has it, Heather is on her way to NYC to make a million dollar donation to a charity in the Bronx which helps disadvantaged children.

Quite interesting, considering just yesterday that it was revealed that peg leg is suing her former publicist Michele Elyzabeth for BIG BUCKS for breach of confidence and falsehood over newspaper allegations about the former model’s failed marriage to Sir Paul.

Perhaps she was feeling a tad guilty?

Will The Real Michael Jackson Please Stand Up?

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

So, we all know Michael Jackson has had layers and layers of skin altered on his face, removed, probably taken from his ass and plastered on his nose, thrown away, sold to Tom Cruise as an ingredient for his placenta stew…and gawd knows what else.

The important fact here is Wacko Jacko is turning 50. FREAKIN’ FIFTY! Definitely a freak and definitely fifty. Damn, my head is filled with thoughts of ‘what if’s’. What if Wacko didn’t mess with his face? What would he look like now as he approaches his 50th IF he didn’t treat himself to millions of posh peels and play with his face like silly puddy?

Click after the jump to see what Michael would have looked like if he HADN’T messed with his face.

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The Jo Bros Get Waxed!

Monday, August 18th, 2008

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. You are seeing double Jonas. I would say, would the real Jo Bros please stand up…but it appears they all are standing up. So, will the real Jo Bros please NOT look constipated?

Well, ok, ok…the only one that looks like he is pinching a loaf is poor Nick (on the end)! Joe looks somewhat like Michael Jackson on plastic surgery number 105. And, Kevin looks somewhat like Rob Schneider.

Anywhos, the Madame Tussauds wax museum in Washington, D.C. debuted the waxed trio today and you can bet there were fans there up the ying yang just waiting to catch a glimpse of the REAL Jonas Brothers. Ain’t nothing like the real thing, baby!

Image Source: Wire Image

Dear Tori Spelling.

Monday, August 18th, 2008

Excuse me…ummm…Tori? Let me be frank with you. You’ve got a little somethin’ wrong with your chest there…You may not be returning to 90210, but you NEED to return to your plastic surgeon and get that implant fixed, girl!

Blech. Your chest is sinking deeper and deeper and faster than the Titanic did in 1912. Either get that shiznit fixed or stay outta public. It’s nasty. It’s wrong. And, it’s sickening. Tori, you’ve got the bucks. Get the shizzz fixed! Pretty please?

Do YOU Want Madonna’s Face?

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

I don’t.

For $30,000 you CAN have Madonna’s face.

I personally am not a big fan of sunken-in cheeks with what looks to be acorns packed up in the upper cheek bones. It’s just not appealing, unless of course you are a squirrel. And, I’m pretty sure Madonna is not part-squirrel. If she starts shelling acorns with her teeth, I will become concerned.

Apparently, cosmetic surgeons adore Madonna’s face and have named it the “New New Face”…which is supposedly a “high honor” in the name of cosmetic surgery. (Even though Madonna denies having plastic surgery, of course.) Yay for Madonna.

According to a source, Dr. Rosenberg used Meg Ryan as an example of the ‘Old New Face’, saying, “‘Meg may think she looks beautiful, but what we are picking up on is a sense that maybe there is an over-inflation of the lips, thereâ€™s an over-abundance of fillers in her face.”

Yeah Meg, take the hint, Dr. Rosenberg thinks your ugly. Heart-shape-faced squirrels are the “in” thing THESE days! The Olsen twins were also named as having the “New New” faces. Well, yippie freakin’ doo.

So, remember that peeps…next time you get cosmetic work done on your face, just ask for the “heart-shape-faced-squirrel look”, aka. the Madonna and the surgeons will LOVE you.

But, will you LOVE YOU?

You LIKE My Bodyyyyyy?

Friday, July 25th, 2008

Last night in London, Foo-Fee Foo Fee’s luvah luvah Brigitte Nielsen debuted the results of her on-screen plastic surgery magic. She does in fact FINALLY look her age. Before, Brigitte looked as if she had been to hell and back, around the block and on the corner more than a few times.

44-year-old Brigitte is so far the Queen of reality shows, so what is next for the peroxide princess?

Well…u ready for this?

Brigitte plans on taking it all off again for Playboy, as she did 20 years ago. Ummmm. Who said any of her plans had ever been good choices? Not I, said the celebrity gossip blogger.