I’d like to start this post out with the following statement: John Mayer has some balls. Whether they are big or saggy are not my concern, but speaking figuratively he is a brave, unclean douche. And, I am sure Papa Joe Simpson is on a mission to wring this guy’s neck.
First of all, didn’t John know that only Papa Joe is allowed to talk about Jessica Simpson’s private parts or anything sexual-related publicly? Naughty, naughty, naughty. In a recent interview with Playboy, John Mayer opens his mouth and digs a little bit too deep when dishing about his past relationships. However at this point, I have Johnny C. figured out. He know exactly what he is doing and it is brilliant. Do I agree with what he says? Not necessarily. But did YOU get a ticket for his tour in support of Battle Studies? Read more about the John Mayer Playboy interview in which he talks about sexy time with his ex Jessica Simpson here.
And while John Mayer dishes about his past relationships, he chooses not to exploit his time with Jennifer Aniston because he knows damn well she’ll tie his balls up and give him the biggest sausage wedgie he’s ever experienced. But apparently Jessica Simpson is fair game.
He dated the girl back in 2006. So what does he have to say about her now? Well, he calls her a drug.
Mayer says, “And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.”
And because we all wanted to know…
“Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*****’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you.’”
Niiiiice. Papa Joe, do you have something to say?
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