Former X Factor judge and lead singer of the multi-platinum Pussycat Dolls, Nicole Scherzinger, recently revealed that for years she struggled with her weight and body issues, including bulimia while with the group. The singer revealed on VH1’s Behind the Music what was really in her head at the time.
“I just hated myself,” Scherzinger says during the interview, of which EW has an exclusive video sneak peek below. “I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”
Did the other girls in the group know what she was enduring? The singer gets even more detailed on how the toll of bulimia affected her relationship with the other members.
“I did it everyday for, like, years,” Scherzinger says. “Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”
Check out Behind the Music this Sunday to get the entire interview on VH1.