Can she even read? I may be wasting my time with this. But I’ll try for the greater good of mankind anyway.
Dear Kimmy Kim,
Your ass works wonders. This gift, I will give you. It’s had a sordid, yet celebrated history. I would make a list of the men you have been linked with here, but this post is supposed to be around 200 words or else my editor will kill me. So I’ll be as brief as is possible when it concerns your love life.
Other celebrities have been calling you out forever and a day, but now it is all starting to make sense. Amber Rose, we got your back! You have been taking the walk of shame so much in life that you might as well make a runway out of it.
I’m certain you learned your skanky ways from your mother because the apple ass doesn’t fall far from the apple ass tree. I’m also certain (although I cannot prove, you sheisty slink) that you have been letting Kanye pee on you on and off for a few years, but now he has decided to upgrade you from trade and out of the shade. Consider yourself a lucky heaux. If I were you, I’d get off the pill now and hope for a little Kanye to solidify that checkbook into the foreseeable future. I mean, what will you do once your looks fade? And trust me, Kimmy K…
they will fade!