Because I care…
Dear Demi,
What the hell is wrong with you?!
Whip-its?
Red Bull addiction?
WTF?!
You were the actress of the 90s. You were A Few Good Men. You were Indecent Proposal. You were ‘ditto’! You were the b*tch of the decade!
And now this?!
Shame on you!
You gave the world your titty balls supreme acting talents for years, siliconed cultivated your body gifts, married a movie star and had three of his unfortunate looking children (I totally blame Bruce Willis for Rumer’s Kansas-sized cranium), and then semi-retired. Then, not to be outdone, you let the cougar out and latched on to Ashton Kutcher and we thought your life was perfect. You seemed to have it all. Then the interviews about female empowerment and being a strong woman and then what do you go and do?
The anti- G.I. Jane!
Salvia?!
WTF?!
Shame on you, dummy, Demi!
If Patrick Swayze was alive, he would not even waste Whoopie Goldberg’s lips to bring you out of this haze you are currently in. Apparently, you have forgotten who the hell you are. So tank up on that botox, adjust your titty balls, and tell Rumer that mama is gonna be A-OK.
You talk about female empowerment but as soon as your cougar juice runs dry, what do you do? Turn to whip-its and Red Bull. Not only is that the sort of stuff reserved for junior high schoolers these days, it is the direct antithesis of everything you’ve been spouting off the last few years.
Take this media craze on you at the moment and use it to your advantage! Don’t let Asston win!
You are The Demi!
