It always pains me when the truth is laid out there, plain and simple. You need a license to hunt and fish, but any fool with working nether-regions can have a babything. Case in point: Peaches Geldof, the daughter of Bob Geldof, has proved this yet again.
We all had mild coronaries when it was announced that she was knocked up and bringing a child into the world. How that child survived trimesters swimming in those infested waters is beyond anyone’s imagination, but somehow it did and the world welcomed Astala Dylan Willow Geldof-Cohen into the world with a big warning sign:
Learn to walk, then RUN!
Well, that warning was not heeded and on a stroll through London recently, Peaches was pushing her baby down the street when all of a sudden he flew out of his stroller, landing on the sidewalk. The entire time, Peaches was on her phone chatting away. Probably asking her Daddy for more money to support delusions of grandeur to get a nanny to take care of this baby until it turns eighteen. This may actually be for the best, because most children don’t need to wear a helmet in a stroller, but this one just might. Where is Child Protection Services when you need them?! But I cannot say that I am actually shocked about this happening. When your mother is a celebrated crackie and your father (British punk singer Thomas Cohen) is a member of a band called S.C.U.M., you don’t exactly have the best options lying on the table.
Here’s to hoping that little Astala reaches maturity relatively unscathed. After all, we want him coherent and lucid so he can write that tell-all in about twenty years.