Dear Taylor,

Taylor, Taylor, Taylor!

To paraphrase Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost…
You in danger, girl!”

Now that the media has finally narrowed down who the pop singer is poppin’ in the Kennedy clan, there has been speculation that Taylor may want to think twice before she dives headfirst into the Kennedy family. I would like to take this moment to remind Taylor about those other women the Kennedys have been with and how they have fared. Can you say Marilyn Monroe? Can you say Chappaqidick? Fancy a private airplane ride?

On second thought…

Go ahead and date all the goddamn Kennedys you want, Taylor. Who knows? Maybe you may be one of the few women that survives the Kennedy curse. If you can survive Kanye and flat irons, perhaps you can survive anything. But you might not want to write about anything that happens between you and Conor Kennedy, however. If you’re silenced, how ever will I go on with my life knowing that I will never again hear another whiney, heartfelt, gut-wrenching song of such epic emotional depths?

According to reports, you’ve been tricking’ around with Conor for two months now.