Well as personal as the Britster is “allowed” to get with interviewers these days. Rolling Stone’s Jenny Elisco received the Cheeto-rific honor to visit with the pop princess in a very strict and more guarded environment. Not only did Rolling Stone need to submit the questions to Britney and her camp beforehand, but they were forbidden to talk about the conservatorship. The Rolling Stone issue doesn’t hit newsstands until Friday, but we’ve dug up some highlights for you to enjoy. Peep ‘em below:

On Her Tater Tot and Small Fry:

“Every time they come to visit me, I think about how they’re such special people. Like, they’re going to preschool now! I went there to pick them up on Friday, and seeing them in their little classroom and seeing Jayden being bad or not listening? It’s like, those are mine, and it’s just crazy, you know what I mean? And the things that are coming out of their mouths right now — they’re learning so much, and it’s new, and you never know what they’re going to say, and they’re so smart yet so innocent. They’re obsessed with monsters, and every night we look outside, and we have to show them that there’s no monsters out there. It’s dark outside, but there’s nothin’ out there, you know?”

On K-Fed’s Amazing Parenting Skills:

“(The boys) are starting to learn words like stupid, and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn’t get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids.”

On chaperoned dates:

“Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad. He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. … So I had to get dessert first. And the other date I had, the guy was really, really tall and a lot older. … We’re trying to ask him questions, like, ‘OK, you’re into martial arts, so what kind of martial arts are you into?’ And he was like, ‘Oh, all kinds.’ … But you know how silly we are, so we were just cracking up.”

On her life post-breakdown:

“I feel like an old person now . . .I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don’t go out or anything.”

Sounds like girlfriend is still on a leash. I’m afraid Brit has a LONG ways to go before she will be able to be out on her own. But, BIG kudos to Papa Spears for keeping Brit under lock and key! It’s apparently what she needed.