Well…at least until April. Finally DMX, aka Earl Simmons, will be locked up for the theft, drug-possession and animal-cruelty crimes he committed. No more late night Doritoes binges due to late night tokin’ or spanking your puppy for pooping on the floor. You just got served, beotch!

According to the Associated Press, Rapper DMX was sentenced to 90 days in jail today for convictions on theft, drug-possession and animal-cruelty charges. DMX was placed on at least 18 months’ supervised probation by Maricopa County Superior Court Commissioner Phemonia Miller.

Image Source: AP

Ninety days doesn’t seem like much and as I look into the future I see Mr. Earl heading to the clinker once more. Call me a negative Nancy, but a guy that barks like a dog and “grrrrs” like a doberman pinscher isn’t a normal human being. I’m just sayin’.