Levi Johnson and Hick Names

Filed under Celebrity Kids, Celebrity News
May 5, 2012 at 10:14 am
By
no comments

Levi Johnston is no stranger to names that are akin to child abuse. Considering that he was once engaged to a Bristol (Palin), has a son named Tripp, and is currently dating a woman named Sunny, you’d think that he’d finally want to end the insanity when it comes to names that make you roll your eyes deep back into the pit of your cabeza.

But alas, no.

In keeping with the grandest traditions of hick mayhem, Johnston has already decided on a name for his soon to be released bastard child and it’s a doozy. Inspired by firearms and other forms of weaponry that would make Charlton Heston weep with emotion, Levi has decided to name his daughter Breeze Beretta after the Italian handgun.

I guess Shotgun, AK-47, and Slingshot were already taken.

Since the Palins won’t allow Levi to see Tripp much since he owes alot of money in back child support, he is hoping to start fresh(er) with his new spawn, and he intends to marry his baby mama as well. “I’m actually in love,” he says, “not doing it just because we had a kid together.” Isn’t that what they all say? We all know it’s cheaper to keep her.

Sarah Palin vs. Levi Johnston

Filed under Celebrity News
April 6, 2012 at 11:52 am
By
no comments

These two seem to be fighting one another in the press every few months. It’s obvious to me with my dime store psychology techniques that Sarah Palin hates the young man that knocked up her and tarnished her goals of becoming the head librarian of Wasilla, Alaska. Considering her knowledge of the alphabet is minimal, these were lofty goals for her. Anyway, Levi is claiming that Mama Palin is blocking him from seeing his ownly son. What Mama P wants, Mama P gets.

Levi Johnston is now claiming that the former Vice Presidential candidate (I still cringe when I type that) is keeping him from seeing his son Tripp. Sarah Palin is refuting those claims and has run to the ‘lamestream media’ (her new coin phrase) to issue a statement:

“We have never hidden Tripp from Levi or discouraged Levi from spending time with him. Any suggestion that we have is false and contrary to our core beliefs. The last time either of us recall a conversation with Levi was in the summer of 2010 when Levi sat down at our house with us and personally apologized about lies he told to the media about our family. Neither of us have talked to him since that day.”

So are the Palins saying that Levi has not seen his son since 2010? Did you read between the lines and catch that verbal slap? Sounds like fighting words to me. I think Levi should go to Playgirl magazine to refute these claims yet again.

I smell a centerfold a-coming in 5,4,3,2…