Who knew dolphins smoke from bongs…no wonder why those bottle-nosed creatures always look like they are smiling as if everyday is filled with sunshine and rainbows even in the most trying times. Those beotches are higher than a freakin’ kite! Before you know it, we’ll see pigs Jessica Simpson flying! (we kid, we kid) Bad joke, I know. Anybong, somewhere in the world Michael Phelps is indulging in a big bag of Doritoes, a jar of pickles, a King Size Kit Kat, a pan of brownies and a 2-liter bottle of Orange Crush. Yum. Homeboy just got sold out for what we are presuming some big dolla dolla bills, y’all! But, you know what? He’s probably not even mad…

Here’s the low down via News Of The World…

Yes the above photo IS in fact Michael Phelps and yes, my friends, that is a bong. Ok, get this…back in November, Michael Phelps decided to do a little celebrating by showing up to a house party unannounced. Cool, right? Well, not so much.

An insider told News of the World, “He was out of control from the moment he got there. If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

The reason for his “surprise” visit? A female lady lovah…

“Michael came to visit Jordan (the lady lovah) but ended up just getting wasted every night. He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal. He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go. Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

And apparently he is a professional midnight toker…

“You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”

But the next night, Phelps was seen out partying again. The source added: “He was right back at it at Pavlov’s bar. Like the night before he was holding court, throwing back shots two at a time and pouring drinks to every cute girl.”

Hmmmm…so I believe it is safe to assume that Dolphin boy can smoke like its nobody’s business…and this time he just got caught…so what do you think? Will there be another Olympics for everyone’s favorite dolphin and most importantly…what will China think? Will he lose his endorsement deals?

Michael, Michael, Michael…what will Shamu think?