Posts Tagged ‘oblivion’

Ryan Seacrest Thinks Britney Is Knocked Up?

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

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Normally you would think Ryan Seacrest would be in-the-know when it comes to gossip. I mean, he’s GOT the inside connections. However, just recently Ryan revealed revealed that he had been told by a ‘reliable source’ some news that was sure to shock us all into Cheeto oblivion.

Ryan reportedly said that the Cheetostar was preparing for a new arrival. Yes…as in knocked up…sperminated…”with child”…expecting…

So, is there another doot doot on the way for Brit Brit? Nahhhhh. Says Britney’s spokesman Adam Leber, “She’s absolutely not pregnant. I have no idea where this ridiculous rumor came from. Ryan has communication with our camp and could have checked this before saying it.”

A good question would be WHY WOULD Ryan say something if he didn’t know for sure, especially when he could have even asked Brit Brit herself? That is a question many industry sources are said to be confused about.

“Ryan and Britney are friends. He wouldn’t have said something like that unless he knew the truth.”

Just one question…did Ryan NOT see the cotton-pony-on-the-loose video? If I am mistaken, cotton pony time=failed little swimmers.

Britney And Her Agent Getting Frisky?

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

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So yeah…I heard the juicy rumor that Brit Brit and her agent Jason Trawick are romancin’ and sneaking Cheeto smooches. Yeah, supposedly they are knockin’ boots. Now I am not sure if I totally believe this one, but this rumor could definitely be true, especially with Papa Jamie running the show. If Papa Jamie wants Brit to date her agent Jason Trawick, he’ll make it happen. Plain.and.simple.

An insider said, “Britney and Jason have been an item for quite a few months now. They are trying to keep it quiet in Hollywood because it’s not a good reputation for an agent to have. Jamie really really likes Jason. He has done everything he can to get them together. Jamie controls exactly who is around Britney and has allowed Jason one hundred per cent access to Britney at all times, whenever he wants he can see her. Within their circle Jason and Britney are quite open and kiss and cuddle in front of people they trust.”

Oh, that Papa Jamie. If he wants the Frito-Lay truck to stop delivering monthly supplies of Cheetos, he’ll make it happen. If he wants Britney to stop bathing in Cheeto dust, he’ll make it happen.

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If he wants Britney’s new Candies ads airbrushed to oblivion…as you can see…he made that happen.

Serena Needs A Bra From Katie Price’s Line

Monday, March 30th, 2009

serena

Now we all know how fabulous Serena is at swinging a tennis racket and hitting a tennis ball into pure oblivion. I mean, seriously, I’d be deathly afraid to be in the presence of Serena Williams. All Serena needs to do is expose her muscular legs and I’d be hiding behind the ball boy.

Yesterday, in an effort to scare her opponent even further, Serena decided to throw on a less supportive bra…letting her ta-tas flop up and around. I’m surprised home girl didn’t slap herself in the face with those torpedoes! Talk about a dangerous strategy.

However, the effort Serena put forth yesterday was all worth it…loose-fitting sports bra and all…as Williams reached the next round of the Sony Ericsson Open in Miami.

Serena beat her opponent, China’s Peng Shuai, in two sets, with a score of 7-5 6-2.

I guess we shall see if she uses the torpedoes strategy next round!


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