Whip up your favorite stew, break out your best fold-n-roll jeans and jump on your couch like a highly energetic child. We will soon be celebrating the fabulous union of Scientology Tom and Stepford Katie Cruise…November 18th to be exact.

So, mark your calendars and be prepared to celebrate because we aren’t so sure Tom and Katie will be able to party down on their anniversary. Katie has gotta work, peeps. Yeah, how bad does THAT suck. It seems their second wedding anniversary could end up being a very low key affair as Katie will be on stage in All My Sons instead of going somewhere special with Tom. Awwww, I know. It’s depressing, really. But, you KNOW Tommy will be at the theater taking all the attention away from his working woman that night. He’ll have that magical twinkle in his eye that will entrance the audience and fill the room with Scientology love.

A source told OK! magazine: “Don’t be surprised if he presents her with a huge bouquet of roses as the cast takes their bows. And her dressing room will look like a florist shop!”

Well, that is a sweet idea, but flowers die. Katie’s love for Tom will never die as long as he keeps cookin’ that warm, hearty placenta stew. I have a better idea. Why not set up a crock pot in Katie’s dressing room? YEAH! Tom could simmer a special placenta stew all night long and then after the show they can toast their love by dipping their fingers into the stew and marking a heart on each other’s foreheads.

OMG, how sweet.

Image Source: INF