The spawn of Scientol-Tom and Stepford Kate is stepping out in style these days high heels and all. Three-year-old Suri Cruise is obviously loving life as a young little girl, but it also seems she is enjoying pretending she is a little grown-up. Hello glittery heels. Hello Starbucks!
Hey look…it is mini-Wino! We kid…but you NEVER know! With parents like Scientol-Tom and Stepford Kate, it surely wouldn’t be surprising that baby Suri ends up with a ratty weave…sad to say it. AnyplacentastewfeastonSunday, Kate was seen picking up the soon-to-be-famous ballerina from a class in LA.
And wow….look at the matching rat’s nests! See, one step closer to being Winolicious! Yikes.
Well, dance lessons are fab and all, but rumor has it that Tommy is spending $1 million dolla dollas on French, Spanish, ballet, tap, modern dance, gymnastics and football lessons for the tot.
Hmmmmm…I definitely see a future train wreck if Suri’s parental unit don’t knock this shiznit off!
Apparently this is what happens every time Katie starts working. Homegirl looks as if she needs a freakin’ makeover. Looking greasy, baggy-eyed and hungry, Katie Holmes was helped out of a car on Saturday night by husband Scientol-Tom as they made their way to Soleil restaurant.
Rumor has it that Katie is in the process of a detox diet that is wearing her down to the maximum. Well, girlfriend can’t even look presentable on a dinner date…they should have ordered in!
A source said, “Katie has almost rid her body of toxins but sometimes it makes her lethargic. Tom’s encouraging her to stick to the diet because they are hoping to conceive baby number two.”
How can a girl get pregnant if she doesn’t even have any damn energy?
Image Source: XPosure
When you are part of Scientol-Tom’s posse, the possibilities are endless…especially when you are a perfect little spawn like Suri Cruise is. A warm bowl of placenta stew? You got it. A baby bottle at the age of 3? You got it. A trip to Disneyworld to meet all your favorite Disney characters? Yep. You got that too.
Tommy Boy treated Katie and his magical little daughter to a trip to Walt Disney World, Florida and a very personal meet and greet with Suri’s heroes Mickey and Minnie Mouse. And when you’re Tom Cruise, Katie and Suri, you don’t have to wait in line like everybody else. Nope. You get to budge right in the front of the line and take your sweet ole’ time!
To fit in with the day’s festivities, Suri sported a blue Cinderella-esque ball gown. Life sure is rough for a little girl like Suri!
Image Source: Splash
Katie Holmes is rumored to be in trouble with her placenta stew lover, Scientol-Tom. Why, you ask? Her spending habits are out of freakin’ control…girl just doesn’t know how to say no to splurging on $400 shoes for Tom’s daughter Isabella (no wonder why she loves Katie so much)….and so it is only necessary that Katie lands some promotional deals that can help bring in the ching ching for the couple’s bank roll.
Miu Miu has signed on Katie to pose for some uncomfortable-looking ads that THEY hope will help boost the brand’s sales and for Kate…to help pay some bills for her shopping fetish.
“Katie enjoys dressing Suri up in designer gear and loves that everyone things she’s a mini fashionista,” a source tells British magazine Now. “He (Tom) doesn’t believe in spoiling the children and he’s not one for spending money on clothes – he’s not the slightest bit interested in fashion.” So, I’m guessing he DOESN’T support these Miu Miu poses?
P.S. I love how Katie has her hand in the fire and her eyes closed…it’s almost like she’s dreaming of a hearty portion of placenta stew boiling over a warm fire. Ahhhhh.
Scientol-Tom has the big Golden Globes to attend to on Sunday in Cali because of his Supporting Role nomination for “Tropic Thunder”. On the other side of the country, Katie will be wrapping up her Broadway show “All My Sons” on Sunday as well. Hello!!!! Placenta Stew Conflict!!! Because Katie won’t be able to attend the actual awards ceremony, Tom has pleaded with Katie to hop on a plane to celebrate with him IF he does win. And of course, Stepford Kate has agreed to dash from her final Broadway performance in NYC to LA to smooch up and bow down to her old man.
Crazy Cruise told a source, “We discussed it, and she told me I should go. So I’m going to the Golden Globes with her father and my mother. She’s going to finish her show and we’ll meet at the after parties.” Well isn’t Katie’s father lucky? HA!
At any rate, I think it is safe to say that Tom is going to lose to Heath Ledger, so Kate shouldn’t have to worry.
On the other hand, if on the rare, rare chance that Tommy DOES win, it will only solidify the fact that Tommy can win if you dress him up as a bald, fat and crazy guy.
Mrs. Scientology, Katie Holmes, is marking a special day today in her life. Girlfriend turns 30 freakin’ years old TODAY! Give me a whaaaa what??!!!! What a celebratory time for the Kate-ster. Only thing is, girlfriend looks like she’s pushing forty. I’m sure the Ogilvie boxed color is covering a lot more gray than Kate-ster can handle. Tomtom, look what you’ve done. You’ve run this poor girl ragged. Now that she is bringing in some bacon for the fam dam, she looks worn down and lacking some important nutrients. I hope that this horrible economy isn’t preventing the Cruise clan to cut down on the placenta stew consumption. Those damn placentas can be damn expensive, especially if you don’t have any stored in the deep freeze. I would have thought that Tom would have stocked up, but “Valkyrie” promotion must have took up all his placenta-searching time. He should have hired a placenta pimp. I really think it is time to start caring about what really matters most.
Hmmmph. At least Suri still looks magical.
Image Source: Splash
It’s sooo good to see Little Miss Suri Cruise wearing a coat AND walking on her own two feet. Can I get a woot, woot?!!!!
Yesterday was just another day, another dress and another stroll in NYC for Suri and her mama Kate as the two worked their mojo on the way to a birthday party.
But NOT without a cupcake stop at Magnolia Bakery. How cute is it that the mother-daughter duo are donning matching silver shoes?! I bet Tom would be tickled placenta pink!
Image Source: Splash
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