Whether you like it or not, the Papa Joe puppet and wanna-be Dolly Parton known as Jessica Simpson has the number one country record. Yeah, boo hiss. But, who cares about that? All Jessica seems to flap her jaw about is her gomer-looking boyfriend, Tony Romo. Come on, it ISN’T ALL about the music.

“Tony is a great quarterback, but he’s a better boyfriend,” Simpson tells People. “I’m seriously proud of myself for letting him into my life.” Translation: I’m so glad my Papa Joe arranged this relationship for me. He didn’t have to pay him too much either. At least I don’t think so. Hee Hee.

Claiming that she’s tough to be around — “I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABCs” — she says she’s thankful for her Cowboy. “Through all the chaos and torment and everything I go through, I can lay in his arms and finally rest,” she says. Ummm…ok, then. I think she forgot to mention that poor Tony has to wear a gas mask every night he goes to bed too. Sounds like it’s the chaos and torment SHE puts Tony through that she needs to worry about. Good grief.

Anytoot, Jessica performed last night for charity, helping to raise money for the Rape Crisis Center in Las Vegas. Click after the jump for Jessica’s best John Mayer impersonations. Damn, sometimes I wish they would have stayed together and performed together on stage. That would have been one sweet moment full of goofy facial expressions. Oh. Well.
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