I had a dream last night of a ghostly creature with a curly shiny mop, beady brown eyes and a perfectly turned up snout. Ever since I heard the news of a possible Jackson Five reunion, I’ve been reciting my ABC’s, perfecting my high-pitched falsetto and prepping for the tour of the year. Contrary to reports of a celebration of sorts, I’ve come to find out that the masked man has denied such a reunion and my heart has since sunk deep into my chest. Why the hell not put on a tour that would bring out Wacko and crew’s most loyal fans?
Talk about a major disappointment. Think of all the ching these men could pocket! But, Michael needs all the money he can get and plans to ditch the other four washed-up old duffs to comeback on a tour of his own. Smart!
The alleged plastic surgery addict revealed, “My brothers and sisters have my full love and support, and we’ve shared many great experiences. But at this time I have no plans to record or tour with them. I am now in the studio developing new and exciting projects that I look forward to sharing with my fans in concert soon.”
Woohoo! Can you not wait to see some package-grabbing, some pelvic thrusts, and that often-imitated-never-duplicated moon walk?
Me? I’m excited to see that nose…up close.
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