Royal Wedding, premarital counseling
With little more than 2 weeks until the much anticipated Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, the excitement is building and all the preparations are being made to ensure everything goes smoothly. One such preparation being made by the happy couple is their participation in marriage prep counseling.
YourTango.com recently polled Americans to see what they thought about marriage counseling and it’s relation to marriage and divorce. While 78% of Americans think premarital counseling helped their own marriage, only 60% of Americans polled didn’t think their own premarital counseling would prevent a future split.
So, what does all his mean? Well, I recently spoke with Sarah Harrison, editor of YourTango.com, and she breaks it down for us after the jump!
STELLA: What, exactly, does premarital counseling consist of?
SARAH: Premarital counseling can take many forms. It’s any kind of pro-active counseling a couple gets before they get married. Many religions require some form of premarital counseling, and most other recommend it. It can be as little as one session with a member of the clergy, or as much as weekly sessions with a marriage educator or therapist. Premarital counseling differs from couples counseling in that it’s trying to prevent problems from happening before they even arise.
STELLA: How does the counseling in which Prince William and Kate are participating in differ, if any, from premarital counseling in the States?
SARAH: Prince William and Kate Middleton are participating in the traditional form of premarital counseling given by the Anglican Church. It differs only in that the couple will face special pressures that other couples won’t.
STELLA: Many churches require some sort of premarital counseling- Do you think that those couples that utilize these counseling services benefit from it or view it as a formality?
SARAH: I think it’s a bit of both–you can view something as a formality but still benefit from it.
STELLA: What do you think is behind the pessimism directed at the benefits of premarital counseling?
SARAH: Well, people are full of contradictions. 
I also found it surprising that 78% would recommend that others get it, but that only 39% are actually getting it. People often take the path of least resistance, and it’s easier to not do counseling. It can also be scary, because it brings up issues that you may not want to talk about.
STELLA: How, in your opinion, would premarital counseling help prevent a future divorce?
SARAH: In premarital counseling you talk and think about issues that you may not otherwise think about, especially when you’re happy about your engagement and busy planning a wedding. Questions like, How will the two of you negotiate any future roadblocks that may unexpectedly pop up, like job-loss, caring for an ailing parent or financial difficulty? Do you know each other’s financial history, and have you worked out a plan for handling finances going forward? Are you in agreement about plans regarding children? What about careers? Living situation? How important is religion to both of you, and how will you honor your faiths going forward? If you plan to have children, what kind of religious education will they receive?
Many people have thought about some or part of these questions, but gloss over the hard stuff. Premarital counseling makes you think about how you would handle tough situations so you have a plan to fall back on in case something does strain your marriage. It also helps avoid these strains in the first place by bringing up difficult topics in a neutral setting, when you’re generally happy with your partner and your relationship.
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Hmm, WDYT? How important is premarital counseling before marriage?
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